September 16, 2014 It has been exactly three weeks since my third knee cap surgery. As I am thankful running in one part of my brain, the other is wildly going what am I going to be doing in my next stage of my life. People are already talking about how social security is screwed. And I guess mine is since I have not necessarily according to them worked in years. So what to do what to do. I have extended my broad array of friends on Linkedin. Which I think will, could, broaden my horizons from there vast knowledge of different jobs. But just really where? Where being used very loosely …... Where does THE LORD want me, Where will he put me, and will I be listening or will I be hard headed, go about my merry way...... What! not you Diane.... and miss an opportunity all together.... So many times we do.... We have that opportunity looking right at us.... That door is clearly open... But oh NO we choose door number 4.... Wait there were only three doors to pick from. But oh some how you made there be 4. Yeah go figure.... As my Mom is gently sleeping she has no idea all the case loads I have and can solve, reckon with, make worse, put on the back burner til a much later day... much much later.... As she will be getting up and then that will totally direct my mood.... Yep yep yep it will. Or will it... I can have that choice.... like we all have that choice.... If she says its yucky out... I can agree and we can be Ooh so hum drum all day... Not that she actually knows what it is like outside. But she choose for it to be yucky. I often really wonder what goes on in there minds. Like we often wonder what goes on in our childrens mind when they were young, they cant really verbalize to us. Well this is a tad bit different my Mom can definitely verbalize. Sometimes I dont like what she verbalizes to me. Well I guess much hasnt changed in that respect since I was a kid. “No Diane you cannot go out to the teen club”, “No Diane, No Diane No Diane... but it was usually added No Diane and Chris, my sister. And like back then we didnt like what we heard...... we choose differently.... And as now... I dont like what she is saying so I can choose to like her yucky day or not..... As a caregiver if we let this stuff get to us you best not be care-giving.... But all is WELL....all is well with my soul, Love that song... I have faith, God is good.... God is abundantly good.... he sustains me... As I am going into my 6th month of not driving, of financial uncertainties, recovering from my 3rd surgery, my Mom is difficult at times (very difficult), having to so rely on people for so many of my appointments decisions. But all is Well..... yes yes yes it is..... My Mom may have Alzheimer’s but she is still quite the independent woman as she always was. She has her mind set that her Uncle is coming to get her, her belongings... Her neighbor has the phone number. Boomp, click of the door she is gone.... She is fast... real fast.... you should see me try to fetch after her on crutches.... Oh no, no not a funny sight.... Okay okay … Yah it is... She usually high tails it to Jessies house. But sometime Jessie does like to sleep in. Especially on a Saturday morning. I would like to sleep in... Ha Ha. Jessie didnt answer the door. By that time I had made it out the door, (she seen I was out and coming down the sidewalk) she decided to walk down the block. It was cold that day, September 13, but God forbid I said it was cold, she said “Oh its is not that bad, it is kinda nice out here”. Got her back in the house. No more than settled back into my chair to support my knee. She made her rounds checked on me. Click out the door again. This time to the new neighbors house(across the street). I arise hit the door this time I holler at her, “Mom, leave them alone”. Mom says, “You just go back in the house, leave me alone”. I said no. It is early people are sleeping and you are waking them up. (Like we are not waking them up with yelling across the street at each other, LOL). I do believe she knows I cannot move fast. She does know when no one else is home, but her and I. I was so exasperated after the last one, I broke down in tears as we were heading back. As I broke down in tears, I started pulling weeds, working my way back in the house. I found that as the tears poured the softer my Mom became. She was very concerned about me, wanted to nurture me. I will remember that moment. I will not be like the Boy that Cried Wolf, but I may have to cry again sometime along the way.... But all is WELL.... I have faith, God is good.... God is abundantly good.... he sustains me... I would still not change anything..... Nope Nope not a thing.... As I laid my Mom down last night and held her hands as she drifted off to sleep..... Nope wouldnt change a thing... It is Well, It is Well.... So My wonder friends as you go about your days.... weeks... Remember still.... we are not promised tomorrow.... Love.... Live... Forgive....Have Faith.... (dont ever lose that)....Keep an eye on those doors.... Smile....(a smile on your face will brighten your day).... Hug....and to all of you Hugs of Love til next time.....
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 16:40:23 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015