Shannons eulogy At the request of several different people and with Dan and Ritas blessing, I am sending this out for anyone who wants to read it. Most importantly, please keep their entire family in your prayers, especially Shannons boys, Connor and Danny. Shannon’s eulogy: Yesterday Rita took me by the hand and showed me her favorite picture of Shannon. She was wearing an orange dress and Rita loved that picture of her so much that in honor of Shannon and Rita, I wore this orange tie today. I wanted to tell you something Rita that you may or may not know; the color orange represents joy. How fitting that you love that picture the most because joy represents Shannon in so many ways! This particular eulogy is an incredible honor and responsibility. Rita, Dan, Janet, Colleen, Danny and Connor, I have prayed so hard that I will serve you well today. There is probably nothing I will say that has not been said or that you don’t already know, but I’ll simply start off by saying, I loved Shannon. Who didn’t? I loved her charm, her sincerity, her integrity, her optimism, her hope, her humor, her smile, and her fun and loving ways. I love that she and Colleen always saw the glass half-full and they were committed to that. I especially enjoyed her love for life and the way she treated people. Shannon was a genuine gift to this world and an awesome human being!!! Sometimes this world just doesn’t seem to make any sense at all, especially after a tragedy of this sort, but what we can make sense of, and what we can realize, is just how much love there is, and love must be why we are here, and hurt often makes love come forth. To illustrate this point, the amount of love and support from people in this community and beyond over the past couple of weeks to the O’Malia/Dolye families has been nothing short of incredible. No, that does not necessarily ease the pain and suffering that exists, or answer the question, why? That is the great mystery in life and perhaps we will never know until we ourselves cross over and are with Shannon again someday. I have to believe that besides being of service to other people on this earth, and looking to the life hereafter, is what our faith is all about. There is no reason to pretend that there is an answer to the question, why? But there is very good reason to believe that there was indeed something truly extraordinary about Shannon. Before I go any further, I hope all of you have a chance to read the letter Austin O’Malia wrote to Shannon. It is posted on facebook and if you want to know what Shannon was all about, I plead with you to read it. It is absolutely beautiful Austin, just beautiful! Perhaps the best eulogy I ever heard, and I’ve heard more than a few, was given by Rita at Jeannie’s funeral a few years ago. Rita completely captured Jeannie’s spirit, her humor, her sweetness and her sensitivity. Shannon, like Jeannie, brought incredible value and joy to this world and even though it may be difficult to measure or put into words, let’s try. First off, Shannon was an honest reflection of her parents, Dan and Rita. What I call the O’Malia/Doyle factor. She got the best of both people and that is what made her such a blessing to so many others. She was genuine and real and sometimes that is difficult to find in today’s world. She was generous and kind, and she was sweet and beautiful. Shannon just seemed to get more beautiful; prettier and prettier as she aged, unlike some of us. Her smile was contagious and inviting, making everyone who met her want to get to know and become her friend. Just think of what a smile like Shannon’s can do for another person on any given day? Multiply that by every day of Shannon’s life and only then can we start to imagine the enormous impact that her grace and tender heart had. When I think of some of the memories that Shannon shared with her mom and dad I am struck by two photos that steal my heart every time I look at them. One is of Shannon and her dad when she was a teenager playing softball at Cathedral. Knowing Dan’s love of sports, it is easy to understand why he loves that picture so much. They look so young and both of them seem so happy and proud of each other. Dan’s is wearing a baseball hat and a pair of shorts that were actually pretty short, but that was the style back in the 80’s. Earlier this year Shannon posted the picture and said of her dad, “He is the cutest, corniest, most understanding dad of all.” And she thanked him for all of his support. It doesn’t get much better than that Dan, but I especially love her comment about you being the corniest because there is something truly endearing about being referred to that way by your adoring daughter. She said that was your favorite picture of the two of you together and I can truly appreciate why. There is another picture of Shannon with her sisters, and you Rita, taken in New York City just last year that I especially like. As many of you know, Rita loves New York City, so having them all together there with her had to be one of the best of all times. In the picture they are all wearing sunglasses and they have these big smiles on their faces. I love that picture of all of you together because it is a great illustration of what you shared and what you had in common. I mean – it’s the O’Malia girls – beautiful as ever – having fun, sharing adventures together, and just being cool in New York City!!! What a memory!!! Shannon was vivacious, exciting and had genuine emotional intelligence – what a gift!!! There is a difference between raw intelligence and emotional intelligence and emotional intelligence makes a huge positive difference in this world. In many ways, I believe Shannon was a genius when it came to emotional intelligence because what made her so great is that she probably never even thought of it, primarily because it was just natural for her to live her life that way. Her ability to connect with just about everyone is a true illustration of her gift. It came through her smile for most of us. That certainly did it for me. No one had a more beautiful smile than Shannon. If you look at all of the pictures that have been shared over the past few days, one cannot help but see her bright and beautiful smile! The only time I have not seen that smile on her face is when she was posing for a picture, usually with Colleen, with their lips turned up and flashing what looks like a peace sign, sideways. That seemed to be one of her and Colleen’s signature poses. Another thing that I noticed was Shannon’s slanted head in many of her pictures, which was as endearing as her smile. Look at those pictures sometime. They’re beautiful! In so many of them her head is turned to one side or the other as if she wanted to help, or listen, or talk, or share something funny, exciting, thoughtful or even silly. She was inclusive, always wanting everyone to be a part of the goodness she was feeling. That was Shannon. I have two particularly fond memories of Shannon. One’s from her senior year at Cathedral. For those who do not know me, I taught Religion at Cathedral for almost 30 years and some of my favorite memories come from Shannon’s class, my favorite class – the class of 1992. That is the first time I have ever said that publically, but I loved that class. (* Note: This part was not included in this eulogy – the above statement does not mean that I had other classes that I loved any less. I was a very fortunate person to have had so many wonderful students over the years – many special people in many different classes and I still care deeply for all of them, but the Class of 1992 was indeed special for many reasons, including that I was given an Honorary diploma at that time, so in effect, I am an actual member of the class, and I became great friends with many of them as they grew older. I really do love them, and all of my students, still!) As Chrissy Collins Green said the other night, Shannon and Chrissy, aka, “Sparkle and Shine” had their lockers at CHS right outside my classroom. I used to stay around kind of late in those days and when I would leave my room, Chrissy and Shannon were sprawled out on the filthy, dirty hallway floor doing their homework, snacking or drinking some sort of pop, and often laughing or resting before cheerleading practice. Sometimes I wondered if they were just pretending to do their homework because I was usually close by. They had stacks and stacks of cups in their lockers, and I used to tease them about it almost daily. They were always kind and we would usually smile or laugh every time I encountered them! Every once in a while they were missing from their designated hallway spot and I noticed their absence and missed them. That is a sweet memory for me and I was so glad that Chrissy brought it up during the Tuesday prayer service. The other memory I have of Shannon was in Broad Ripple just a couple of years ago. She was on her way to celebrate someone’s birthday and I was on my way to meet up with my daughter. I ran into Shannon and we stood on the sidewalk and we talked for quite a while. She just smiled, and talked, and listened, and lovingly spoke of her cousins Jill and Molly. It was just the sweetest conversation and I could have sat and talked with her all night long. That is how Shannon could make anyone feel. The reason that stands out in my mind is not because we talked about anything remarkable, but because Shannon, in and of herself was remarkable. You could see Shannon anytime, anywhere and she was eager to talk with you, to listen to you, to share your joys or to try and ease your sorrows. You could not help but be drawn to Shannon’s magnanimous spirit! There were many important roles that Shannon played in her short life, one of which was her role as a school teacher. She was a terrific teacher because she believed in her kids and she challenged and encouraged them at the same time. It was not unusual for her to challenge a student on something important while telling them that they would do better the next time or that she loved them, or both. She had an unusual zest for life, an energy that was unmatched, a creative spirit, and a genuine happiness and joy that she tried to bring out in everyone. They just don’t make them any better than Shannon! You know, I never heard a negative word from her about anyone, not one, and many of her friends and acquaintances have made the same comment. She looked for the best in people and she treated them accordingly. She especially looked for the best in her two boys and in her students. I taught a boy, Nick Werle, a few years ago at Cathedral. Shannon taught him many years ago, though he is a full year out of college now. He wrote the other day that Shannon was his third grade teacher at Holy Cross and that she was still his favorite. He is only a small part of Shannon’s legacy! You know, the interesting thing about Shannon is that she made everyone think that they were her favorites, because they were. She loved us all. She certainly had her favorites, but she treated everyone with equal value and importance and that is just one more reason she was so very special! And now she is reunited in heaven with some of her other very favorite people – Matthew, Zac, Jeannie and both sets of her grandparents. Janet and Colleen, it’s hard to imagine doing justice to what your relationship was like with Shannon. Colleen, I know that the two of you were incredibly close, closer than most of us can even imagine. Even though you were ten years apart, you were like twins in many ways, looking and smiling just like one another. You were alike in your values, the love you have for your children, your creative spirit, your humor, your laughter, your desire to have fun, your commitment to being happy, and the fact that you enjoy all the little, beautiful traits you see in others. The thing that sticks out to me the most is you and Shannon always seeing the glass half full and that is probably even more important from this day forward. At this time, I’m going to read something special that Colleen wrote to Shannon and she asked me to share it with all of you, “Shannon, I will honor your heart of gold, half-glass-full way of looking at life. I promise to lift other’s spirits with my goofy accents and silly face selfies. I promise to laugh when dad tells a story that we’ve already heard, and hope you will show me a sign that you’re laughing too. I will make sure that mom knows it’s finally ok for her to admit that you were her favorite. I will tell story after story after story to my children about how much you loved them and to keep your memory alive. I will love your boys as if they were my own . . . forever. I vow to make sure Connor eats more than chips and cookies, and to make sure Danny knows he can come to me whenever ANYTHING exciting happens (last week that was catching a catfish). And that they both feel your love when I wrap my arms around them. NO one will ever take your place. I miss you so much that it hurts, but I know you will always be with me in my heart. I love you, my Shanny. Love, your little CoCo Puff.” Janet, you had such a unique opportunity to see Shannon on a regular basis and in a very different environment – in the world of teaching. No one, and I mean no one, knows the amount of time and energy that goes into teaching more than a teacher. Years ago I had a doctor come visit my classroom and he was with each of my classes for the entire day. He was exhausted when the day was over, and he said, “How do you do this day in a day out?” And e didn’t even have to deal with any discipline problems or any major interruptions that day, and he didn’t have to go home and plan for the next day or grade papers! Janet, I know that you truly appreciate the heart and soul that Shannon put into her teaching. Moreover, you got to see Shannon as a sister, a teacher, and a friend. In many ways, you may have known her better than anyone else because of your connection to her at this wonderful school, St. Louis De Montfort. Being a vice-principal, it’s not every day that sisters get to work with one another, but I think most people thought that was pretty special!!! The two of you must have been truly blessed to be here with one another, and Shannon’s classroom will always be her classroom in your eyes. Molly, Jill and Jodi, and all of the cousins, and the girls from the Class of 1992 from Cathedral High School, especiall the yadas, and the faculty and staff at St. Louis De Montfort, you must consider yourselves truly fortunate to have had such a loving, open minded person like Shannon be in your world. She was never afraid of showing affection to people she knew well. Instead, she was forthright and even courageous about showing her love for people, young and old alike. Rita, I have to believe that growing up around Jeannie, and all of your sisters, had a huge impact in the way your children loved and embraced all people. To the Cathedral girls of 1992, I know there will be a huge empty space every time you get together in the future, but I hope you never stop doing that. I hope and pray that you will faithfully keep Shannon’s memory alive, forever. She loved all of you and I know you most certainly loved her. It probably goes without saying that you will continue to celebrate her in everything that you do. I certainly hope so. Connor & Danny – This part is for both of you. Your mom looked at the glass half full, which means that she believed in being hopeful, excited, committed, and enthusiastic. She also had great faith in this life and in the life hereafter. If you think about it, your mom’s life was built on faith, hope and love. As you know, she loved you boys more than anything in the world. Almost any picture I have seen of you with your mom she is hugging you as tightly and as lovingly as she possibly can. When your grandparents and your aunts, and uncles and cousins try to do the same, I hope you feel your mom’s love come through them. What your mom wanted for you two boys was to be excited about life, to be engaged, to play hard, to play fair, to be kind, to be happy, to love and hope, and perhaps most importantly, to have great faith, because it is incredibly difficult to get through this life without it. Your mom liked a quote that reads, “Live so when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.” Wow! That’s your mom!!! I hope you will always remember your mom would want you to treat every person, you ever meet with great respect and dignity, because that was what your mom always did, and she would want to see the same in you. Connor & Danny, you will make your mom proud beyond words by the way you live your life! When people see your beautiful, pure smiles, they will know your mom’s light is shining bright in you. You know, I lost my mom when I was 8 years old. You’re going to be okay because so many people are here to love you. It may not be easy, but my hope and prayer for both of you is that no matter how difficult life gets, keep your faith forever close to your heart, and hold on to your hope and your ability to love others . . . always. These gifts were given to you by your mom and her tremendous family and friends. God bless the two of you . . .forever!!! For all of us, I know we will find Shannon in our lives in a million little ways. When you see a rainbow, or drink a diet coke, or see someone putting on lipstick, when you go for a run, or when you see Connor and Danny’s beautiful smiles, think of Shannon and know that your life is richer because she was a part of it. In closing, I want to reference a favorite quote that Shannon had pinned on her Pinterest board. It’s a short saying entitled, How to Have a Lovely Day - It goes like this: ~smile at strangers ~slow down ~say thank you ~give lots of compliments ~dress nicely ~wear perfume ~observe & listen ~be charming ~laugh ~wish people a lovely day When I hear that list, I see Shannon in every part of it. She did all of these things naturally. She was hard-wired to make every day a lovely day. I think we can rename this, “How to have a Shannon kind of Day.” ~smile at strangers ~slow down ~say thank you ~give lots of compliments ~dress nicely ~wear perfume ~observe & listen ~be charming ~Laugh ~wish people a lovely day We will never understand the tragedy that occurred, but we can make sense of the lessons that Shannon left us, which is basically about what it means to love others. Shannon, thank you for your many, many gifts and everything you shared with us. Always sweet, Always smiling, Always kind. Beautiful, beautiful Shannon - God bless you . . . forever!
Posted on: Sat, 02 Aug 2014 13:31:55 +0000
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