She could see him walking under the street lamps, with his hands - TopicsExpress



          

She could see him walking under the street lamps, with his hands in his pockets and head down watching his feet. “Sam!” she called out, trying to get his attention. He kept his gaze locked firmly on the ground. It was only after he had walked a couple street lights closer that she could see the ear buds placed firmly in his ears, isolating him from the outside world. She had taken a step back into the doorway of her apartment hoping he hadn’t seen her and waiting for the moment, and him, to pass unaware that he had seen her as soon as she stepped out of her door. The image of her burned into his mind, her flowing black hair and strikingly green eyes to her well-toned legs and boot-clad feet. ‘Sorry Del but I can’t.’ He thought as her heard her call out to him. Stuffing his hands down further into the coats pockets, he kept walking pretending not to notice as Del stepped out behind him, following him at a small distance. ‘I’ll follow him and see how he’s been doing.’ She thought ‘It’s been six months and nobodies seen him at all.’ He had been approaching his apartment building but instead turned down an ally way, Del knew it lead to the park where it had all gone wrong. She looked up, eyes wide and unbelieving ‘where did he go?’ she thought, speeding up her steps until she came to the light she last saw him under. “”What do you want Del?” came his voice from behind her. She spun around eyes wide in fear and surprise and her hand stifling a gasp. “Sam! You scared me!” She said, trying to get her racing heart and breathing under control once again. “How have you been Sam? Nobodies seen you in months.” She looked at him; shocked to find up close that he had grown while away and she had to turn her gaze up to look him in the eyes. “I’ve been as well as could be expected Del.” He purposely avoided her gaze. “No one has ‘found’ me because I had to leave here, there are far to many memories left here for me to even think of staying.” “If that’s true Sam, why are you back? Where have you been for so long?” she paused to gather her thoughts before continuing before he could speak again. “Sam I looked for you for days, I kept calling your phone and e- mailing you but it wasn’t till the second week that your brother finally answered your phone to tell me you were gone and had told him not to tell anyone where you had gone to.” He looked at her, his blue eyes clear as crystal, and she could see the pain deep inside. “I did what I had to do Del, after what happened I needed to get away. So, when a school in Tokyo contacted me I took their offer as soon as I saw they provided dormitories for students. That normalcy and routine helped me rebuild what you helped destroy Del.” “Damn it Sam! I understand that but you need to know that your friends and I thought you had wandered off somewhere and killed yourself. I, no we, were frantic until Ivan told me you had gone. Sam you should have told us yourself, we…no I was worried about you Sam.” She trailed off into silence tears running down her face. “I was looking for you to apologize for the way I acted Sam.” He looked at her, meeting her green eyes with his own for the first time. “Why do you care Del? You made your opinion clear to me, when you told me I was your biggest mistake, that I meant nothing to you and you wanted nothing more than for me to drop off the face of the earth and die.” She recoiled at the venom of his words, choking back a sob as he continued. “That day was the single hardest day of my life, what do you do when your world collapses around you?” he asked rhetorically. “I spent the rest of that night by the river thinking about what went wrong and what I could do to fix it.” He took a deep breath and balled his hands at his sides.” I realized I couldn’t do anything and that’s what made me leave, I had to get away from all these memories and let my wounds heal.” He looked up, past the street light they stood under and gazed at the stars just barely visible content at saying his piece for the moment. She studied him for a moment, lost in her thoughts. Del knew he had more to say but wouldn’t say anything else until she had responded. “I only did what I had to do Sam! You were so cold to me and so distant. We used to smile and laugh together, we used to run and play in the rain. Then that stopped, you stopped being with me and even though you said you loved me your actions were contrary.” She looked at him, tears streaming down her face. Damn it Sam! If you had even thought as high of me as you said, you should have talked to me about it, we could have worked things out between us! It didnt have to end this way! She cried finally sobbing, beggining to cry in earnest. Sam, after his momentary surprise at her tears, reached out and lifted her chin with his hand. I never wanted us to end like that Del, you have to believe me, I just didnt know what was going on at the time. I was lost and all i had to hold onto was you. Those feelings, for my best friend the person i know better than my own family scared me. I didnt even know if my feelings were romantic or not, i had to take the time to figure that out and for the hurt, Del i am truly sorry i know how you feel but i am sorry for the part i played in your pain.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 02:39:02 +0000

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