Shocking new figures have suggested that as many as 1 in 3 teenagers growing up in rural areas will experiment in potato gathering (Country names also include Purdy gathering’ and ‘tatty gathering.) With the media full of horror stories and sensationalist reporting, its easy for any parent to fly off the handle. The degree to which you manage to handle it calmly will help ensure a positive long-term outcome. Remember; knowledge is power. TYPES OF POTATOES There are literally hundreds of potatoes out there for gathering which your teenager may well be exposed, but amongst the commonest are: - Charlotte (Most commonly gathered. Starts off as a gateway spud.) - Desiree (Often confused with the 90’s singer who sung ‘Life’. It’s not her.) - King Edward (Hallucinogenic. Gatherers go through a period of thinking they are Edward VII.) - Maris Peer (Popular in the late 90’s at parish hall discos due to its association with slow songs.) - Maris Piper ( Highly addictive. Gatherers will find themselves always ‘chasing the tractor.’) - Rooster (Or also known as cock. Famous gatherers include George Michael and Katie Price.) WARNING SIGNS Many of the recognisable signs of potato gathering are also recognisable signs of being a rural teenager - so be careful before flinging accusations about. Signs to look out for include: - Thick dirt below the fingernails and in caresses of the hands. - An unhealthy appetite for ham sandwiches. - Looking uneasy and irritable when seeing an empty laundry basket. - Carrying around a biscuit tin with a thick elastic band wrapped around it. - Missing days/weeks from school. - Leaving the house early morning and arriving home late in the evening mucked to the eyeballs. - Taking a flask of hot water, a handful of teabags and milk in a Lucozade bottle everywhere. - A chronic inability to stand up straight. Knowledge is power - read up on potato gathering so you know exactly what youre dealing with. Helpful links: - ruralsupport.co.uk - Imagatherer.co.uk - purdysruinedmylife - tayto - bettyfordtractor.org Fintan H.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 15:18:48 +0000
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