Short story. Like and share please. “Kill yourself.” “You’re fat and ugly.” “No one will love you.” “You’re worthless.” As Marina scrolled through Facebook, familiar names with familiar phrases clouded her profile. Well, plus quite a lot of abbreviations and misspellings. Of course she recognized these people, as these were usual posts on her wall, but she didn’t actually know a lot of them. There was the usual Bri and Izzy along with their mindless clones pelting Marina with insults, but in addition they had sent at least a dozen students from other schools to join in. Tears rolled down Marina’s cheek, she could feel her heart thumping inside her chest, threatening to shatter. But she couldn’t stop now-she had to know what they thought of her. Marina logged into her Instagram, only to find these comments left on the pictures of herself: bri_babyy: ewwwe y is this on my feed? @marina99 _izzy_loves_you: gawd u r ugly, and u wonder y no1 lykes u, @marina99 LOL!!! Marina was now sobbing, holding her knees up to her chest with one hand and using the other to log onto Tumblr. Shakily clicking on the envelope icon to check her messages, Marina finds several anonymous ones. “hahaha u think ur cute marina! watch ur back, beyotch we r coming 4 u, guess who;*” “just kill urself plz, dont bothr coming 2 skool 2morrow or ever coming bak, no1 cares about u.” Slamming the laptop shut, Marina lost it. She screamed, threw herself onto her bed, and weeped. After about ten minutes, she stared at the mirror and yelled at her reflection. ‘Why? Why can’t I be pretty and skinny and popular?’ After insulting herself profusely, Marina clenched her fists and punched the mirror as hard as she could. The glass shattered into thousands of sharp pieces, leaving a metallic pile underneath what used to be the mirror. She shouted and screamed, finally giving up with the miserable realization that Marina couldn’t change anything. She was completely powerless. Plopping down on the ground into a heap, Marina cried silently and rocked herself gently. She didn’t know why people hated her so much, why they wanted her to die, why they thought she deserved this. From her computer at home, Izzy stared at the remarks she had made to Marina on just about every social site had an account on. She shook her head, tears silently falling from her beautiful blue eyes. Izzy pushed back her perfect blonde hair and shut off her computer in disbelief. She was a monster. A hideous monster. Izzy pushed people around just for the fun of it. She insulted people, calling them fat and ugly just because she could. She hurt Marina just for no reason. Drowning in self loathing, Izzy stared at her word-covered hand mirror. She grabbed a sharpie and added to the list of flaws she had written on the glass: “monster,” “disgusting,” and “evil.” Izzy threw the mirror on the ground and curled up in a ball on her pink carpet, bawling her eyes out. She couldn’t believe she would do something like this, make someone feel like dirt just because she wanted to. She didn’t know why she wanted to make people feel like they are hated or should die, or that they deserved this. Marina lay in bed later that night, shortly after her mother got back from her late shift at the drive thru. After she calmed down, Marina had hastily shoved the shards of glass and remains of the mirror’s frame into the closet and crawled into bed. Now, she wasn’t doing anything but wondering about the people that had harassed her for four years now. When Marina thought, it was dangerous because it was usually about suicide or just hurting herself, whether it be taking a razor to her wrists or refusing to eat for as long as she could. But now, she was just curious about why they hurt her so. Marina didn’t have any answers. Marina promised herself that tomorrow, she would stand up for herself. Izzy lay in bed later that night, after her meltdown. She thought and thought, mainly about things like why she did what she did. Why did she harass people? Why did she continue to do it, even when she hated herself for it? Izzy didn’t have any answers. Izzy promised herself that tomorrow, she would stop hurting Marina. The next day, she shuffled into homeroom, eyes glued to the tiled floor as she headed to her desk. Marina didn’t want to say anything to them, like she had last night. On her desk was a pile of rope, a bottle of pills, and a razor blade. A sticky note next to it read, “Your pick. ” Something just exploded inside her the second Marina saw this. She realized that it wasn’t any of their business of she wanted to commit suicide, or if she did. It wasn’t their call either. Marina glanced over to the source of snickering and saw Bri and Izzy standing in the corner with their crew, laughing hysterically. Izzy seemed to be faking it though, her eyes penetrating Marina’s anger for a split second. For a minute, she thought Izzy might stand up for her. But instead, Izzy said something to Bri and they laughed together. The audacity made her so angry, Marina threw the objects off her desk and screamed, “No!” The girls jumped, startled and frankly, shocked. Everyone stared at her across the room, and Marina silently thanked the fact that the substitute was late to class. “I won’t, actually,” Marina yelled, walking over to the girls in the corner. Next, she said exactly what she had thought. “It’s not your decision if I were to kill myself. That would be up to me. And it wouldn’t be any of your business if I did.” The people standing in front of Marina looked like they may have been more stunned than she was. But, she continued, her fury fueling her words. “But I won’t. You know why? Because that would mean you’d won. And I will never let you win, because you can’t break me. I’ll always be Marina, and no one can change that.” Including me, Marina thought. Izzy was absolutely shocked that Marina had spoken up. All these years, she never had. Part of her was totally confused, but the other side was proud of her. Finally, she had stood up. But what was she to do now? Izzy was supposed to be the bad guy her. Most of her ‘friends’ were rolling their eyes and whispering to one another. Suddenly, the ridiculousness of their mind games shined through. They were just hurting someone because it made them feel better about their own situations, what they were going through or dealing with. But doing this to people didn’t really change the situations, it just changed THEM. A lot, too. Izzy remembered long ago, when the whole class lived in peace together, without the bullying. But everything changed, because she knew that the feeling you get from the power of having control over someone else’s feelings is addicting, and once you try it once, you have to do it again. And again. And again. But it needed to stop. “She’s right,” Izzy said suddenly, making her friends fall silent. Marina stared in confusion and shock at Izzy when she spoke up. Why is she standing up for me? she thought. “How would you feel if someone did this to you?” Izzy continued. No one said anything. “Exactly. We all know why people do this to other people. We feel bad about ourselves, and we make up for it by making others feel bad about themselves too. As long as they feel bad, then it makes you feel good. Right?” Most of her friends were shamefully staring at the floor. Marina was stunned. “I should know because I’m one of those kids, as much as I hate to admit it. But why do we do it? Why do we create some endless cycle of hurting people? It shouldn’t be this way. No one deserves to feel like nothing… no one.” Izzy glanced at Marina, and their silence said a thousand unsaid words. Bri nodded. “I get it. I’m sorry, Marina.” Marina thanked her, and soon enough, Bri and Izzy’s followers joined in an apologized. The moment had only ever existed in her dreams, and Marina couldn’t believe it was really happening. That day they both learned different lessons. Marina learned that it’s okay to defend yourself. Izzy learned that it isn’t okay to hurt people. They both learned that bullying needs to end, and this end starts with you. ~lonely lover
Posted on: Mon, 10 Jun 2013 21:20:33 +0000
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