So Friday was Lilys birthday, we had a really good time. We are thankful for the wonderful year that God had given us. We know that there will be many more. A year ago Saturday was her surgeryversary I almost had a few panic attacks thinking about that day. I remember getting up that morning, Bobby and I were at each others throats. Than we had a moment alone without Lily, the first moment without her and we both lost it, both of us so scared. We pulled ourselves together and headed out to the hospital, we went to the hospital early so we could meet other family members there. My dad/step mom, both sets of Bobbys parents, and my best friend April were all there. Bobby and I went back to preop we discussed everything with the surgeon, just as we had the day before. Met with Lilys team of Doctors and nurses, everyone was so kind and made sure we understood everything. Letting her go was the hardest thing ever, I honestly have no words for the fear I felt, I will never say out loud the things that went through my head. They thought it was only going to be a couple hours. So every hour that went by, the knot it my stomach got tighter and tighter. I remember getting occasional messages with updates on how she was doing. There was one time our nurse coordinator came down to the waiting room, she walked across the lobby in her OR scrubs I felt like I could faint, , OMG. She was only there to give us an update, let us know it was going to take longer than they thought. I believe she was in surgery for totaling eight hours. We got called up, sat in the consult room and the surgeon came in and explained what they had done, removed the tumor, lymph nodes, blood transfusion, and were preparing her to get her port put in. After about an hour we got to go see her. My heart broke, there was our beautiful baby girl, unable to move, barely open her eyes laying on her back with a port hooked up to her meds and a bandage across her belly. I wanted to hold her more that moment than any other ever.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Nov 2014 03:38:27 +0000
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