So, I watched the movie on Christmas Eve and there were many, many things that disappointed me. The whole movie felt like bad fanfiction. As if someone who had read Tolkien and didnt understand a thing about the magic and the spirit that is being described in Tolkiens works or completely misinterpreted everything. I think none of the added characters were needed. Legolas could have had a veeery small cameo and perhaps it would have worked and it wouldnt ruin his character continuity in LOTR. This Legolas felt and looked entirely different. He was behaving like a douchebag Super Mario Avenger for no reason. Alfrid and Tauriel were not needed AT ALL. Alfrid had horrible lines and too much screen time. All jokes fell flat and felt ridiculous. Tauriel, as has been said before, is just there to exist as a love interest and of course to distract Kili from avenging his brother. It was as if everyone had forgotten about Filis death immediately. This was the saddest death out of the three for me because Fili was the most reasonable and honorable of the three Heirs of Durin, even though he had minimum screen time. Thranduils subplot also seemed ridiculous to me. It didnt feel as if he really gave a toss about his wife or his son. I think he actually cared more for power. That scene between him, his son and Tauriel was as shitty as it could be. Pure soap opera crap. Nothing felt Tolkien-like. Legolas wouldnt have dared defying his father. Thranduil would have banished the Captain immediately if he/she ever dared threatening him with a weapon! An Elf King wouldnt stand there to discuss love matters with his Captain of the Guard. What is this? Twilight? What does an Elf King care if a subordinate loves anyone? He would be forever furious to find out that his Captain had abandoned her place and responsibility after a random and insulting trousers joke ... from a freaking Dwarf! He would have killed her. The Dol Guldur scene was perhaps the coolest one visually. But even there some things didnt make sense. What was the point of The Ring Galadriel? What was the point in making her seem dark and maybe evil, too? She is the Lady of Light! She doesnt need darkness to scare off anyone. Why was she wet? Was there any kind of liquid nearby? What was that all about? Saruman and Elrond fighting was my most favorite, alas short, moment of the entire movie. Smaugs death was also very impressive visually. Id prefer for Smaug to die with a simple arrow called the Black Arrow and not just another fanfiction ballista windlance crap. How could that bow release such a huge metal arrow? Screw physics! Lets make everything ridiculous! The battle was confusing, too. What about those Dune Worms? The hell. The five armies didnt even seem like armies at all. It certainly didnt feel like a bigger battle than Helms Deep. Maybe it was the CGI that ruined everything. What about the Elves jumping over the Dwarves like proper douchebags? Pure PJ fanfiction. Dain was really awesome but he deserved more explanation and screen time than that. Very nice CGI and anyone who didnt know, wouldnt have noticed he was digitally enhanced. Loved his voice performance. Didnt like the fact that Orcs and Goblins were dying from a single soft headbutt or a small rock! What was that all about? Felt bad for the elk and the boar dying but they were not Tolkiens ideas anyway. What about the rams? They just popped up out of nowhere. Like the Eagles. One more time that PJ doesnt explain anything about them and turns them into Deus ex machina. 4 seconds of Beorn. Just 4 seconds for someone who turns the tide of the battle and is an actual Tolkien character. Insulting. No funerals, no coronation, everyone looks as if nothing happened after the Heirs of Durin died. Dont give me the extended edition excuse. I wanted to see that in the actual movie where it belongs. The ending was quite sweet. but didnt really have too much of an impact. Bag End is always worth seeing, empty or not. My overall impression is that I was disappointed for what could have been. It could have been one long movie that wouldnt have added characters or Super Mario moves or a million subplots. Just the main plot and it would have been fine. I give it a 3/10 and I never thought I would say this for a Middle Earth movie but it really felt more like Harry Potter to me.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 11:02:36 +0000
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