So Im struggling, as is everyone. Im remembering that I am allowed to say why? and is there more that I could have done and not have a good answer. I am allowed to feel emotional and helpless. This stuff happens despite our best efforts, wants and hopes. It sucks, but is comes to pass. I am making sure that I have no commitment too much for me at the moment. I have my support networks in place. I am aware that we humans respond in a few predictable ways. * Numbness - the emotions are too great and we just have to shut down for a bit * Strong emotions - hard to control, or uncontrollable, be in a safe environment and remember that you are allowed to feel * Survivors guilt - Im glad it wasnt me, oh, crap, why am I glad? Shes in a better place - is she? Im all confused right now. This emotion series is not uncommon and is fine. You are alive, you did make it through and she is no longer in what ever circumstance she was escaping. Thats okay. * Anger - why did you do this? Anger tells us that we have no power over what has happened, and that is okay. * Avoidance - I want to distract myself from this and do something else. That is okay. * Self affirming behaviours - Celebrating or reminding the self that we are alive, we do things that are dangerous and stupid to feel more alive. Beware of how dangerous and stupid they are, because later we will regret them. If we survive. My therapy right now - the dragon. Thats avoidance. Im carefully choosing my stupid actions for something that helps me feel alive but wont cost me too much. If you need help, its there. Call me, message me, or call friends and tell them you need comfort, or if it is more significant, call these help lines: Lifeline 13 11 14 = Need help coping suicideline.org.au/ - 1300 651 251 = suicidal thoughts MERL Mental Health Emergency Response Line 9224 8888 = extreme emergencies
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 09:01:56 +0000