So my wife has taken to buying this big fat salt -- I dunno if its kosher salt or sea salt, but certainly not the tiny dandruffy kind you put in a shaker the way the good lord and the Mortons girl meant it to be. And you know how much youre using. And she keeps this salt in an old sugar bowl, so we, and our occasional guests, have to put our fingers in it, to grab a certain amount -- and that has got to be unhygienic, because who knows where anybodys fingers have been, but I know where mine have been and thats disgusting enough. But the problem is, because the granules are so big and fat, you first try to use a little, but it doesnt do the job because the salt particles wind up landing an inch or so apart, and some parts do not get salted. So... in order for it to cover the expanse or surface of whatever youre eating, you invariably sprinkle too much, and it winds up tasting saltier than licking a Bulgarian gymnast after shes done a five minute floor routine. (Dont ask me how I know this.) My solution, after working with this problem for over a year: I keep a secret salt shaker, with those glorious fine granules of Mortons salt in a secret place and sprinkle it over whatever Im salting and get a perfect -- and controllable flow! -- of salt over my...whatever. I would complain to my wife about the fat salt and its unhygienic properties (the fingers in it) or the difficulty in distributing it equally, but I know somehow this would wind up in an argument about my family or my emotional remoteness. Its better this way,
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 07:52:39 +0000
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