So this happened today: I get an email from a woman who runs a concierge service for a certain demographic of parents (no I will not divulge which because it may then give away the company). She asked me to consider collaborating with the services she offers by hosting at my place in Hoboken quarterly. I click on the FB page link (before clicking on the website or Twitter links) to get an idea of what her business is like and see if we are compatible before I respond. The very first post on her page was a blog she shared by a guest author to promote a book for sleep training. The book it turns out is a cliff notes version of another mans sleep training system. It basically involves a very regimented schedule starting at SIX weeks of age whereby babies are encouraged to nap every 2 hours following the belief that babies can only be awake for 2 hours. The book notes that not every family is open to sleep training and that there are many options out there including CIO and others. I immediately realized that my philosophy, lifestyle and brand (which is basically my own lifestyle and parenting choices based on my research) is not compatible with some of the products this company offers. For those of you that do not know me personally, I oppose any support on my behalf of any type of sleep training. I welcome ALL to my events, groups, and have in fact moms that have employed some versions of sleep training that are an active part of some of my gatherings, but I make it very clear that my forums are not open for discussion about sleep training. Now, there is a difference between sleep training a baby and helping a toddler or older child who is having difficulties with sleep engage in gentle routines which will result in more productive and restful sleep for the child. Personally, I chose to night wean two feeds at about 13 months old and that is all it ever took for us to transition to restful sleep patterns. I wrote back to the woman and thanked her for thinking of me. I then explained that my policy was to not promote in any way sleep training in any form. I explained to her what I just said above about being open to all families but choosing to focus which subjects are open and which are closed for promotion or discussion. I gave her a recommendation of a local pediatric practice which promotes CIO and another sleep training methods as early as 6 weeks in an effort to point her to a place where she would be more likely to have an audience. She wrote back to me telling me how she had never been offended by another mom before until writing to me. I tried to explain to her that if she was offended that I could not promote in any way sleep training than she had obviously not taken the time to read my website, or my bio. I told her my intention was not to offend her and that I was truly sorry if my personal and professional choices were offensive to her but that I was not able at this time to choose otherwise. Why is it that when some of us make choices about how we parent we automatically offend others that make different choices. Why cant I say that I will not promote something without being offensive to people that do? I am careful, thoughtful and intentional about what I directly or indirectly promote. I could make different choices that are more lucrative but I choose to walk my talk because it is what my heart tells me to do. Why am I the bad one because I stay true to myself? Is there any room for me to be offended by someone that is offended by my personal and professional choices????
Posted on: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 01:38:38 +0000
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