Some of you know that I have a new job in a small town in Arkansas. Great gig, great coworkers, 17 weeks off a year, low stress. Another great part is I live in a cabin in the woods next to a river. LOVE IT!!! Alas, one small trouble: no washer/dryer in said cabin. At my place in Fort Smith I have one but if I get all stanky from me expressing my manliness all over the great outdoors I have to wait two weeks to freshen up my drawers and whatnot. Lately Ive been doing em down at Meg Wootens laundromat in Hope since I havent jumped in the river with my board to scrub em clean (dont worry, its coming.) So whats a poor boy to do? LAUNDROMAT!!! So I get out of work today and drag my 4 tons of camo shirts, pants and other mud and sweat encrusted gear out of the trash bag I had em in and proceed to git ta warshin. As I sat there waiting on the stuff I got to thinking: when was the last time I used a laundromat? Had to wrack my brain for awhile before it came to me. It was back twenty years ago when Todd Webb and Ryan Haynes and I used to dominate the great state of Alabama. Before I got a w/d set I used to go to a little laundromat down in T-town. Always liked to sit and watch the people like my grandmama Dorothy Reed did up on the square back home. Well as I stumble through the door with my trash bags full of crap and freshly purchased (Roll Damn) Tide from the Family Dollar three doors down my eyes fall to the setup directly in front of me. Why? Short walk and it was furthest from the other humans in there (I may not be shy but Im still an introvert at heart.) So I start to slang my dainties into the nearest dryer. Now hold on a minute! I know what youre thinking. Pyke! What are you doing!?! Why are you throwing nasty ass Bobo-soaked grimy butt coverings into the dryer for? YOU AINT EVEN WARSHED EM YET!!! Well have a seat because Ill tell you why. Im tired. Just plain tired. Not from work mind you! But from some strange desire Ive had lately to improve my work capacity. Not too hard to improve when you been sitting on zero for awhile. So this is what made me tired. Ive gotten on this burpee kick lately where I do 100 burpees every day. In addition Ive started doing front squats everyday and flipping this tractor tire around the woods when Im not beating it with a sledge hammer. Also digging a fire pit and chopping wood. So Im very tired. And I love it. Well once I get about 1/3 of my clothes in there Im staring at the machine and thinking something aint right bout this. Well it hit me it wasnt the fancy w/d set I helped ol Hot Sauce Erin Scensny pick out a few years ago. Well shit. I look like a complete dumb ass. Again. As I start unloading it j look up and see these two Mexican fellas staring at me as I was cussing and yanking my crap out and throwing it across the aisle into the closest washer. When I spied em watching I thought great, witnesses to my dumbassery. So I took a couple steps towards em and said Look at me! Trying to dry my clothes before I even wash em! What a dumbass! Kinda getting ahead of myself aint I? Well apparently due to the size discrepancy between us, my mane, my beard, my boldness, my volume and the fact they didnt speak a lick of English my approach cause them concern and they quickly retreated to the rear of the building. I just stood there with my thumb up my butt thinking well I did it again. I finished getting the washing started and took a seat in the corner away from everybody. Enjoyed my time alone reading. The Mexicans finally came back to get there stuff after awhile, eyeing me warily the whole time. Otherwise uneventful time. Until bout an hour later while I was drying my clothes. Small little fella came in looking all white trash trying to get his stuff done. He already gave me the oh shit please dont touch/beat/rape/kill me look that Im so familiar with. He was fumbling around trying to get his crumpled dollars in the change machine so I walked up and offered him some of my quarters and the use of my extra Tide. He was a bit befuddled by my friendliness (in my experience most folks are when its coming out of this package.) in order to ease his fears I began to make small talk and eventually he relaxed and yakked a bit with me. Finally my clothes finished drying and I began to gather em up and stuff em back into trash bags. He looked at me and started laughing. I grinned, knowing what he was thinking and said whats so funny? He replied Mister, to be honest when I walked in here I saw you and you scared the shit out of me. Pyke - Was it the hair? It was really wild today. Stranger - Yeah that and the wild beard is part of it. But youre so big and all dressed up in camo with muddy boots on too. Pyke - in my head Im thinking cmon man its Arkansas what the hell is so odd about this? as I continued to stuff clothes in the trash bags. Stranger - Well now youre stuffing your clothes in some black trash bags and I couldnt help but think that you are some kind of serial killer. And he just laughed as easily as if we were old buddies. Pyke - As I pulled the drawstring on the last trash bag I looked at him with zero facial expression and said Why do you think I was washing the clothes? I turned on my heel leaving a muddy boot print as I walked out the door.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Mar 2014 02:34:54 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015