“Someone told me I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself.” ~shared by a Griever Unfortunately sometimes our sorrow is interpreted by others as a public display of mourning to attract attention to ourselves. I have never met a griever who used their grief as a tool to manipulate others to feel sorry for them. Genuine mourning is the result of your conscious decision to allow others to recognize and participate in your grief. Sometimes that means you allow your physical and emotional demeanor to exhibit your grief. Your mourning is sharing the reality that your loved one is not coming back, that death is final, and that nothing can replace that relationship. As we have shared before sometimes you just have to be sensitive with whom you share. If you are telling and retelling your grief story to someone over and over and they are not listening, not interested or not sympathetic, then it is very probable they see your grief as irritating and perhaps a way to draw attention to yourself. Often we have to be selective with whom we share our grief. Another perspective is that perhaps you are not dealing well with your grief and your emotions really do seem to come across as self-absorbed. When this happens I recommend that grievers seek out a grief group where they can both tell their story and listen to others, which helps us to better balance our emotions. In any event I would refrain from sharing with that person and if you find several people telling you the same thing, then perhaps you should seek professional counsel. - Fran Welch©
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 01:42:22 +0000
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