Sometimes being honest with myself takes guts. I have been sad this week missing my husband, my mother, and my father and other family members (some who are still on this plane). And somehow I get to this place where Im hard on myself about that...like I should be over it all somehow. But Im not. I can be bubbling along nicely, doing good things, taking care of myself, those I love, and even creating Christmas for families in need...and Im happy...then suddenly I feel like Im slogging through mud. And then my smiles fall short. Bens Christmas concert was last night and dammit, his dad should have been there. And my mother, and my father. I was so happy to see his sweet face singing and merry, and so thankful for Johns mother and sister (thank you, JoAnne Trovato Avery!) by my side...but with tears softening the edges of my vision because of who wasnt there. So it occurred to me...some of you may be missing people and feeling like you should be over it -- and I wanted to send out a hug and my love and remind you of what my life coach needed to remind me of this morning...sometimes you have to just BE where you are, in the emotions you are in before you can get to someplace better. I have to laugh, because I teach this. Because Kathy and I have said it to each other and to our Spark ladies approximately 100,000 times, but still I need to be reminded myself. Carol saw that I was trying to fill the sad space with busyness and challenged me to stop. She held my hand (metaphorically - shes in Colorado), took me into the pain, and I emerged lighter and brighter, like a huge weight was off my shoulders. I then delivered presents to My Brothers Keeper with sincere joy in my heart -- and my heart was available to be moved and delighted by all the good work they do there. So if youre sad, let yourself be as sad as you need to, and trust you will emerge on the other side and find peace in your heart. And if you need a virtual hug in memory of someone you love, tell us here, and we will send one (and I imagine so will everyone else who reads this!).
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 19:18:48 +0000
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