Sorry for the long message. If you are a true friend or family member, please continue to read and not just skim or ignore this post. Note... I am *NOT* fishing for attention, help, or advice. Please dont respond with clichés. An open letter to anyone who reads this... I am embarrassed. I am ashamed. I dont feel like a good father. I dont feel like a good friend. I am a liar. I have disappointed my Savior. I wake up each morning and the ONLY thing that keeps me moving forward is the love of my wife and the nonjudgmental smile/laugh of my daughter. I dont feel like doing ANYTHING most days. I want to spend my days sleeping and playing PS4. Three out of my five greatest accomplishments are beginning to fade away. They may soon be gone forever. I am a bad husband, a poor Christian, and a horrific example for my daughter. I feel like Im walking the train tracks in a long tunnel and I see a bright light coming towards me. Whats the solution? Family? God? Therapy? Friends? Motivation? No idea. My wife and baby daughter make me smile and laugh. They give me hope. But the moment I am more than five minutes away from them, my happiness fades to zero. I shall pray on these thoughts. I beg my Lord to answer this one and only prayer. I have never asked this from my Lord, but I dont need His guidance this time. This time I need His strength.... I need His focus.... and, I am very sorry to ask this, but I need Him to grab me by the ear and drag me away from the enemy. I am under attack and my armor is shattered. I place my future in Your hands, Jesus. I do so with 100% faith and 100% trust. But..... I need you to show me a sign. I have NEVER asked this. But.... I need it. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 13:58:19 +0000
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