Sorry my last post was so down but I am severely stressed out and worried…and since several have asked and seem concerned I will share, although I am not sure what anyone can do to help.. one of many major things that is freaking me out is Tristan is now out of all his meds and I have no way of getting his prescriptions refilled until the 26th- it was a total mistake on my part; as when I was doing bills, I didn’t realize he needed his refills before Sean’s next payday. I cant even use our overdraft as we are and will be $300-600+ in the hole until November-when we will hopefully be caught up (THANK GOD for overdraft protection that allows us even that). Right now my mom is extremely mad at me (rightly so) as I thoroughly screwed up on a bill that is beyond super important to be paid on time-again it was all my fault- (the bill was returned in the mail cause I am an idiot) so was paid late. She and Sean are the only ones I have to talk to and Sean is out of town and now she isn’t able to talk to me without making me feel worthless and useless..Then we have Sean’s car tags that are expired yet he still has to drive to and from work and unfortunately we have no way until ‘maybe’ November to pay for that- so we just have to hope and pray he doesn’t get pulled over as we would have no way to pay that ticket either. My washer broke beyond repair with no way to get a new one and there is no way to now do laundry for my family of 5!! AND somehow I have to figure out what to do with the girls while I am in the hospital with Tristan during his heart surgery and recovery(where I will be all alone-except for surgery day- as Sean can’t take any more time off work)- which is in 43 days. With them both being in school I am not sure what to do-We can’t afford to hire anyone and no one can get both Nikki Bri and Ella to and from school and practices and Nikki’s coach is already making her feel guilty for being gone the day of and day after T’s surgery (her quote: “you know your team is counting on you, and I will still have to give you a demerit for the times you miss practice”- as if a little brother having open heart surgery is some minor event) ..these are just the tip of the iceberg that is melting all around me with no life preserver, hell no boat or even island in sight…there are several other pressing issues between my health (or lack there off), school starting, school supplies, bills, T’s surgeries…I could go on and on…I spend most nights crying trying desperately to find a way out, when I get sleep (HA) it is filled with bad dreams of me losing T, or being told what a horrible person I am, etc… Moving was suppose to make things so much easier and it will… eventually; but for now everything seems so out of control and we are so far behind from random things happening and going wrong that it is hard to see silver lining ….SOOOO if anyone has any miracle suggestions I AM ALL UP FOR IDEAS
Posted on: Wed, 17 Jul 2013 19:52:01 +0000
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