Sorry this is coming late. Story of the week. Mothers doesnt always know best! Trust me; its not always true that mothers know best, at least not when it comes to matters of the heart! My mum thought she knew what was best for me when it came to the choice of who I should marry, and then she robbed me of a chance to walk up the aisle with the man of my choice when I was 30. Eight years on, I am still single. May mums sweet soul rest in perfect peace but on every anniversary of her death I cant help but remember her with bitterness. They say time heals every hurt but not the kind of hurt that came between me and a fantastic opportunity to be the lawfully wedded wife of a man I truly loved. Tribalism and ethnicity shall always be the bane of this country even though I do admit that things have changed for the better. My parents were very tribalistic, my mum especially! I could always get dad to see reason but not mum; she would always say things like Omo Ibo each time she had to talk about my friends from the East. She would always spit out the words the way oyinbo would say nigger. Dad got tired of reprimanding her and just let her be. Mum was very domineering and no one won in an argument with her. Trust my luck to fall in love with an Omo Ibo. Christopher was every womans dream guy; tall humorous and ......intelligent as I discovered later. I was crazy about tall guys, perhaps because I have got heights too. He was confident too we seemed a good match for each other. Our meeting isnt anything out of ordinary; we met at a party and having given him all the signs so he could ask me for a dance and he still didnt respond, I decided to ask him. Surprisingly, he jumped at the chance and later told me that he had had his eyes on me all evening. You were the first person I noticed when I walked into the party. Youre kidding me I asked as we danced. Yep, I had my eyes on you but you beat me to it. Thats good because I might still be sitting there and planning my moves Count today as your lucky day then I teased. You are tall....my kind of woman With music over, he led me back to my seat and pulled one for himself. We chatted like old friends and with party over he asked me for my number. You will call? I asked in a faint voice. He did call and that was the beginning of a romance that blossomed. He was my best kept secret (from mum) and close friends knew all about us. The few times i have an intimate time with my mum, she had upset me by her caustic remark which ended with; Dont bring Omo Ibo to this house ooo and then a long hiss! But mum..... I know you are going out with one of them, I have seen you rolling your eyes and yet you have not brought him home. Is he not because he is omo Ibo? Well that was it! But after Chris and I dated for over 9 months he surprised me when out of the blue he asked when I would take him to meet his parents-in-law? Lets take this relationship a notch higher or dont I qualify? I was over the moon and planted kisses all over his fine face. Of course you qualify......! I had run out of excuses! So one day, I happily (with a lot of apprehension) told mum, dad, and everyone else that I was bringing Christopher home. As long as he is from our place, remember that you are my first born was all she said as she gave me one of her infamous Sheoo hisses. Later, I took my case to dad who simply said to me you know your mother and her trouble.... dad was a real disappointment; he never was able to stand up to mum. Where did that leave me? It was time someone dared mum, so I brought Chris home! The humiliation was too much to bear as mum was at her nastiest. She asked Chris questions in Yoruba even though she knew he was Ibo! Chris took it badly and that affected our relationship. Gradually, we just drifted. I thought mum would come around as I walked around the whole house like a jilted bride. But not mum....and then fate played a cruel one on me...... Mum died in an accident! Everyone thought that after mourning, Chris and I could patch it up but I didnt think it was the thing to do since mum never approved. With the way mum spoke about Ibos I wasnt sure she would not come back to haunt me if I married Chris. Dad had given me the GO-ahead but I felt like telling him what a disappointment he was to us his children. But then I felt he already sensed my resentment of him. At 38, I am still single and searching.....Chris? I heard he got married!!!! #BA
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 08:07:45 +0000
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