Summer 2004, I had just graduated community college and knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to go to Washington State University. That was my only plan. I loved my life at the time. The next chapter of my life was planned even before I was born. There wasnt even a decision for me. It was something I had engrained in my mind before I knew I could make my own decisions. I was going to be a Washington State Cougar. When I enrolled I remember part of the enrollment process was housing selection. Dorm, apartment, or Greek. Transferring in as a junior I knew dorms were out of the question. A childhood friend invited me to move in to an apartment with him. I remember sitting on my parents porch after speaking with my mother about it and somehow knew this decision would greatly impact the rest of my life. Move in with my childhood friend and be comfortable or join a fraternity and see what happened. I knew joining a fraternity would be an experience like no other, but I was nervous. I decided to go through formal recruitment rush that fall. I remember my parents dropping me off, not knowing how things would turn out. I had a couple high school friends already at WSU in fraternities, but didnt want make my decision biased towards where they were. After the week of recruitment I decided to join Delta Chi. Not because I had a friend there already, but because I felt like I connected well with them. They seemed real. Bid Day at WSU is when every man decides where they will spend their college years. Every man going through recruitment met at the church at the bottom of the hill on greek row. I remember looking around and seeing all the other guys like me. About to make one of the biggest decisions of our lives. We were choosing who we would spend the rest of our college years with. Who would end up becoming our best friends. As the horn was sounded hundreds of young men started running up the hill towards their future. I knew exactly where I was going. As I arrived at Delta Chi I was treated as I just crossed home plate after a hitting a home run in the world series. We were all soon rushed inside to sign our bid cards. I remember looking around and thinking there were a lot of guys who chose Delta Chi with me. These would be my new brothers. That was when I first saw Alex Pickering. I remember feeling reassurance when I saw him. Thinking that if a guy like that chose this house then I had definitely made the right decision. A decision that would change my life forever. The first few weeks at Delta Chi are a blur. Parties every night for what seemed like months. A few months in things seemed to calm down a bit (parties only 3 nights a week). I found myself spending my weekday evenings sitting on the couch on the balcony of our fraternity, watching the evening news. After a few weeks of this I remember one night in particular. I was watching the news like usual when Alex and Aaron Dahlgren came up the stairs and onto the balcony. I could tell they had been drinking. They asked me what I was doing. I told them I was watching the news. They thought that was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I remembering them questioning why a guy like me would be wasting time watching the news while I was in college. I remember Alex in particular. It wasnt as if he was making fun of me. It was as if he wanted to help me. He wanted to help me enjoy my college years. From that moment on I pretty much spent every free minute with Alex. Him, Aaron and I spent the next week at one of the older members apartments, as the pledge class before us was going through initiation and we werent allowed in the chapter house. We spent that week staying in a small living room. I dont remember going to class much that week, but I do remember becoming best friends with Alex. The next two years were incredible. I had more fun in those two years than I could have ever imagined. The parties were like something out of a movie. I remember sitting on a 5 foot tall speaker in the basement of Greenhouse, looking out over hundreds of young college kids all dancing wall to wall, looking over at Alex, knowing that he was thinking exactly what I was thinking… what an amazing life. On Sundays Alex would always ask if I wanted to go to his sisters apartment and play Rummy. Of course I would oblige. Alex always had a way of getting people to do what he wanted, but it was also what you wanted, even if you didnt know it. On our way to his sisters he would always ask if we should stop at the store. We both knew where this would end up, but we would play the game every time. When we got there he would ask me what we should get, chips, candy… beer? I can still see the look on his face when he would ask. It was the same look he had whenever he knew we were about to have a lot of fun. The conversation would turn from whether we should get beer or not, to whether we should split a six pack, to whether we should get our own six pack to us each getting a six pack of 16 oz malt liquor. Needless to say, we would always end up having a lot of fun. Our last year of college Alex, Nick George, and I all decided to move in to his sisters old apartment. I got the room over the porch. I remember sleeping with a hooded sweatshirt, jacket, and jeans on in the middle of the winter because Alex would get too hot in his room if we turned the heat on. Alex was always the best at selling people on getting things his way. He was a true genius at that. My last year in college was good. The partying calmed down a bit, but I also got to know Alex even better. His Mom and Dad came to visit on different occasions which allowed me to get a good perspective on why Alex was the way he was. I didnt speak much with his father. In fact I probably spoke more with him afterwords than I ever did at the time. I wish I would have asked him more. I let him do the talking, which I could tell was difficult. At the time I was looking for answers. Answers to questions I wasnt willing to ask After graduating college I went back to Spokane and moved back in with my parents. I began applying for jobs, thinking I would find something soon. The weeks turned into months. Before I knew it, it had been six months since we graduated. Alex had moved to Arizona with a friend Kevin Olson. He had started working for a college and seemed to have his life on track. I on the other hand was headed down a bad path. I had lost sight of what I really wanted out of life and was instead trying to hold on to the party lifestyle. One late night Alex called me to ask how I was doing. I told him things were not going well. He had no idea really the life I had gotten myself into, but knew things werent going well. Earlier in the evening my Dad and I had gotten into an argument in which he pretty much told me I needed to turn my life around or move out. Alex invited me to move to Arizona. He told me he could get me an interview with his company and sleep on his couch as long as I wanted. After getting off the phone with Alex I went upstairs to my family computer and proceeded to buy a plane ticket to Arizona. My Mom woke up and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was buying I ticket to Arizona to interview for a job. She asked me how I was going to pay for the ticket. I think she knew I had easily, in just a couple months spent through the thousands of dollars I had made working construction that summer. I told her I was going to overdraft my account. She walked out of the room. I few minutes later she came back in and placed her credit card on the desk with tears running down her face. She knew this was what I needed, but I think she also knew I wasnt coming back. I spent the next week at my ex-girlfriends apartment in Cheney. This was the worst week of my life at the time, but I a week later I got on a plane to Arizona with two suitcases. This would be my new life. Alex had saved my life. Moving to Arizona was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was living the life I imagined when I was young. If you were to ask anyone who the biggest Spokane supporter they know is, I would be it. I never thought I would move out of Spokane, but it was nice to wear a tie to work every day, and go to lunch with my best friend. To this day I wish I lived closer to my family, but I know Im better off in Arizona. The years in Arizona with Alex were the best. We ended up getting a house on Squaw Peak with Kevin and Dan Bissell. That year was amazing. We had pool parties every weekend. I remember one morning Alex woke me up like he usually did, Rise and Shine. Time to get up. Time to get moovin. Alex told me his Dad used to wake him up this same way. I grew to hate this. On this particular morning Alex asked me to go to McDonalds for breakfast (he hated McDonalds breakfast but knew I loved it). We got in the car and started driving. As we got out on the main road I noticed an alarming amount of traffic. I told Alex there sure was a lot of traffic for a Sunday. He looked and me and said, Its Monday, weve got to be to work in 2 hours. I immediately went into a panic. Where had the weekend gone? We ate our breakfast and drove back to the house. As we approached the house I could see my car wasnt parked in the driveway. I immediately Went into a panic again. Wheres my car? I asked him. He had a strange smile on his face. I couldnt figure it out. I soon realized we were in my car and he was driving. I will never forget that day. We had more fun than we should have that weekend and he had a way of making sure we got back on track for work on Monday. At the end of that year a lot of changes took place. Im not sure who decide to do what first, but Dan decided to join the Peace Corp., Kevin decided to move in with his girlfriend, and Alex decided to move back to Seattle. I remember thinking that I should try to talk Alex out of it, too keep the party going, but I decided to let him make his own decisions. I didnt want to influence what he did; And although I had come a long way, our lifestyles at the time were getting a little out dated. So Alex moved back to Seattle. He got a great job where he immediately started making good money. After about a year in Alex told me he was going to go on a leave of absence to go to Asia. I remember thinking this was crazy. He was working a great job, making great money. But he assured me he would be able to get the job back when he returned. I ended up learning this was not true. To this day I dont know if Alex believed he would be able to get that job back or if he knew he was didnt care. Living life to the fullest was always his motto so I wouldnt be surprised either way. All that I know is that it was the trip of a lifetime for him. He experience life to the fullest and I know this because he kept a very detailed blog. We all lived vicariously through his blog during this time. All wishing we could do the same. The fact of the matter is we all could have done the same. The difference between us and Alex is that he was willing to throw cation to the wind. Maybe we should act a little more like Alex did. He was willing to give up a $100k a year job to take the trip of a lifetime. And for him it was the trip of a lifetime. Upon returning from Asia Alex proceeded to continue his travels around the United States. I knew he was running low on money at the time but he didnt seem to care. Looking back on this makes me wonder if Alex had a plan all along or if he just thought things would always work out. After this final trip Alex attempted to get his life back to normality. He started working a 9-5 which turned out to be not as good as he hoped. I remember when he told me he quit this job because he didnt like it. I couldnt understand this decision. I hated most of the jobs I had and always thought it was smart to stick it out until you found something else. Although, Im not nearly as charismatic as Alex, so I trusted him. I remember thinking that this wasnt a good idea for him, something I would never do. He assured me he would be able to find a better job soon, and I believed him. I know some people dont like to cause blame, but I cant help but think this was a contributing factor. He also told me, rest assured he would be able to collect unemployment. I dont want to degrade Alexs decisions, but I know I didnt do a good job of hiding my feelings towards this decision. During this time the conversations between Alex and I grew sparse. Prior to this we would talk multiple times a week. At this point we were only talking monthly. He always acted as though things were fine, which regrettably made be more angry with his decisions. In hind site I see I was all a facade. He was hurting. He was hurting deeply. He was regretting the decisions he had made, in his career, in love, in life. But he didnt share that with anyone, not even his best friend. I often wonder what he was thinking in those last moments. I always thought we would grow old together. How did he not know that things would get better? I know I could have cheered him up. should I have tried harder to make him move back here or at least try to show that I care. Was he spiteful? Was he angry? Was he sad? Was he regretful? Was he scared? Was he content? August 3rd 10:02pm: Alex: Do you still have the ivory elephant Jessica gave you? From the trip to Mexico? Take a pic if you have it. August 10th 12:03pm: (10 days later) Me: I take it you were drinking the other night? August 10th 4:00pm: Alex: ? August 10th 4:36pm: Me: Your last text to me. You wanted me to send you a picture of the ivory elephant. August 10th 5:59pm: Alex: Yes and you didnt August 12th 6:57am: Me: (2 days later) Picture of Elephant August 13th…………
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 06:41:43 +0000