THE QUOTES AND QUESTIONS OF LIFE? * If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? * For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. * Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? * Corduroy pillows: Theyre making headlines! * I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol * I couldnt repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. * Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm * Eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines * Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese * Im not cheap, but I am on special this week * I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met * I intend to live forever - so far, so good * I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy * If you aint makin waves, you aint kickin hard enough! * Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! * Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States * Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. * Support bacteria - theyre the only culture some people have * Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion. * The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. * When everythings coming your way, youre in the wrong lane. * Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. * If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. * Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder ... * 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? * If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. * Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. * When Im not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. * Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just dont have film. * If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? * Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? * What happens if you get scared half to death twice? * Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. * I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now hes gone. * I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. * Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. * How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? * Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. * Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. * Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! * OK, so whats the speed of dark? * Black holes are where God divided by zero. * All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. * I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 22:30:52 +0000
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