TOMORROW IS THE LAST GIFT CARD GIVEAWAY! THANKS FOR EVERYONE’S SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT! Here’s an easy “like” or share… This article has a really important message. You can skip the first 3ish paragraphs if you like…the author is telling the story of EVERYONE. TOO BUSY, BURNED OUT, OVERWHELMED, etc. We all get like this and sometimes it’s a stage of life issue that is hard to compensate for and other times it’s a pattern of behavior that is hard to break. Either way, we can do ourselves a favor by communicating more effectively with our partners/spouses/loved ones. The classic question, “How was your day?” is quite flawed. Stop asking it. It is what I call “Zero Point Communication.” It INVITES the lame and surfacey response of…you guessed it…”Fine.” This question and response scores you ZERO relational points…hence the “Zero Point Communication (ZPC) term I’ve coined. This pattern also precipitates the mind-numbing cycle of MORE ZPC questions….”How was work? How was that meeting? Was there traffic? Did you finish cleaning the garage? How were the kids? Did you pay the bills?”…and on and on…all ZPC. Most are closed questions that need only the barest of responses as an acceptable answer. This type of communication does NOT help relationships heal from problems, build trust, or strengthen the foundation. In fact, it subtly undermines it. Think of wave erosion…no harm at first, but given enough time…you’re gonna have a very unique houseboat. We need to ask each other more specific questions. Questions that are TWO POINT Communication (TPC). These questions invite a response and an ELABORATION. Questions like, “How did you feel during your presentation? How many problems did you solve today? Did the kids work on the issue of sharing today? What are three things you are proud about today?” There’s a lot more. Any question that requires elaborating is probably a great question to ask. So, as the New Year has begun, see if you can add in some higher scoring questions to your daily communication with those you love.
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 05:19:42 +0000
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