TV FOR DUMMIES By Thomas Berton Whenever I hear a person say that theres nothing worth watching on television, I know that person is either naive or inherently stupid. On any given evening, my hungry mind finds itself in a struggle. Which program will I key in on? Which show will unlock the mysteries of the universe or simply entertain my weary sense of wonderment? Its a question of the mind. The mind, meaning, the person behind the brain. Theres a person inside this body of mine that will not rest. It wants to know. It possesses an insatiable appetite. Tonight, PBS is airing an episode of Nova on animal intelligence. Dolphins creating tricks in tandem to impress their trainers. Cuttlefish assuming patterns in a lab. Elephants, self aware, in the presence of a mirror. Alex the parrot, blowing the mind. Empirical evidence everywhere. Meanwhile, the Knicks are taking on the Clippers and The Blake Effect, the newest and most exiting basketball player to come down the pike since Lebron James. The interesting dynamic to me, is his honesty regarding his troubles at the free throw line. The loneliness he feels there in front of the arena, effecting his average, is a study in human nature. I skip the first half in favor of Nova. Later, The History Channel is tracking down the treasures of The Knights Templar. Seawater interrupts the search. A series of underground shafts confound the seekers. Is the Holy Grail down there? My mind wanders. It tells me that the Holy Grail is pure metaphor, its meaning being a source of conjecture, large enough to fill volumes. The mind decides to change the channel in hopes of finding more viable or entertaining content. It settles on Charlie Rose, again back on PBS. Annette Bening is on. Awesome. She is, in my opinion, the last siren of the silver screen. Mainly for her delicate It Girl features. (Im a sucker for packaging) Its no wonder Warren Beatty settled down with her. Above and beyond her beauty, she will always be at the top of my list by dint of her stellar performance in American Beauty (how perfect is that title, given the female lead?) she, in the hands of Sam Mendez, a British stage director manning the movie, delivers the lines of Allen Ball, the screenwriter, to absolute perfection, emoting without acting. Reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm fail to impress though, as scenes are shortened to accommodate the commercial breaks. Nuances left on the cutting room floor discourage me, leaving me with Seinfeld and The New Adventures Of Old Christine to feed my Larry David and Julie Louise Dreyfus joneses. The list goes on and on. Boardwalk Empire on HBO takes storytelling to a whole new level. Drawing on historical literature, and wringing out the familiar, but not fully known characters back stories, guarantees at least six or seven seasons of riveting viewing. At an hour per episode, its never been done. I eagerly anticipate, and with some envy, (I myself make some attempts at screenwriting) the next season. TCM recently aired several silent shorts of The Little Rascals that the uninitiated never knew existed. I was transfixed. Also on TCM, one of SNLs featured players, on with David Osbourne, chose Robert Altmans Brewster McCloud, as one of his must see films, not a day after I recommended it to a buddy of mine. My friend loved it as much as Harold loved Maude. Kudos to Bud McCourt and Sally Kellerman. A Catholic channel, (EWTN) featured a Shakespearean scholar, explaining how the bard was informed by the Church, and why he made Shylock a Jew. It turns out that under The Church Of Englands rule, it was the Calvinists that instituted usury, and to speak against them was grounds to lose ones head. Who knew? CBS Sunday Morning recently did a piece on David Sedaris. You missed it? Good for you, TV naysayer. Youre a smarter person for it. After all, Albert Einstein excused himself whenever he had visitors because he refused to miss The Beenie And Cecil Puppet Show when it was on the boob tube. And we all know what a an imbecile he was. Thomas Berton
Posted on: Fri, 06 Jun 2014 17:01:14 +0000
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