Tales of Three Trails So I’ve gotten a little behind with my Hash Trash, but will try to catch up, albeit in an abbreviated manner. You should be able to find the route I ran for each of the hashes below this tome. First, last Thursday, All Hands on Dick gave the Miami Hash a really great Full Moon Hash from our regular starting lots on Collins at 73rd Street. The hare, as has now become a Miami H3 tradition, was pretty late showing up, but he left beer at the start for us to drink, so no one complained. (Beer seems to always trump whining). We started did a little circle jerk before heading over the causeway bridge, only to turn back at a well placed false (was there liquor there too?) that headed us back over and toward the beach before turning us north and then through some shiggy before crossing a small bridge over (I think) Indian Creek before again realizing we had gone the wrong direction. When we found true trail again, we easily managed some urban shiggy and parking lots, already looking for our beer check. We managed to get across another little bridge without having to turn back, and moved as a pack up the road, still looking for the beer. We ran the pavement and behind a building or two and happily found our beer check in a quiet (and closed) park, where we drank heartedly until being asked to leave by a friendly but adamant park employee. Slightly satiated, we were glad to oblige, and once again headed back on trail to chase the hare. So this is where it got a little strange. Apparent FRB Gladheateher was leaving chalk marks (we never did understand why), and as we headed over another small bridge, he marked a F (false) but kept running, and then marked a True Trail Arrow. I stood confused, and watched behind me as usual FRB Belly Dancer stood stopped and confused, raising his arms above his head and trying to figure it all out. I continued over the bridge, but found nothing and ran lost and confused back and forth on the roads looking for some markings before just heading south (I though I heard whistles) looking for some sign or mark left by the hare, finally cuming upon a walking bridge that had flour marks. I followed them only to find out after running almost back to that first mismarked bridge, that I had traced the marks the wrong way, and the trail went back from the way I had cum. By this time the pack had thinned and in a vain attempt to find true trail, I got turned around, lost, and confused and with no idea where the pack (or the trail) was, headed back to my car. Surprise, surprise, no one was there. I remembered hearing the Hare whisper to someone at the start about A to B and figured that the B (circle) was somewhere on the sand. Only slightly daunted I ran back over to the path on the beach and headed north hoping for the best, and eventually found the pack circling up on a sandy hill overlooking a growing crowd of Drum Circlers gathering near a life guard station and already in the spirit with twirling fire dancers, and beating drums. We had a great circle and though I left early (I had ArgenTuna’s keys in my car) the pack enjoyed a spectacular show and joined the Drum Circle with vigor. The crowd was huge, and I regretted leaving but, I was already headed out and the parking had all filled up. I’m sure those that remained will tell you (as they’ve told me) how late they stayed enjoying the festivities. Truly a wonderful Full Moon Hash in Miami. On On – VD OK, that was Thursday, and I will only mention that a runner named Virgin Dick won his age group at the Waterford 5K on Friday night. Nfhn Eddie, a race director supplied a pre-race beer, so it really seemed like a hash, and we (Pelvis Lives, who got 7th in her age group though she used her mother given name) shared more beer at the after party. Early Saturday morning we (Pelvis and I) headed up north to Mt. Dora and the Over the Hill Country Hash. This is a bi-annual (every two years) event hosted by Shell Shocked and Patchwork Quilt that always supplies great trails and a wonderful, food filled on after party and camp fire evening. This year did not disappoint. A group of SoFL hashers, including Wimp, Pikkle Maker, Frenchy (Stenchy) Wench, Cajun Ass Mustard, Anal Inspector, Cum Again and ..., and Yeast Infection and Nurse Goodbody to name a few, had arrived on Friday night and were already raving about the good times and the food, but soon the whole pack gathered at the end of Patch’s driveway for the start, and were soon packed into pickup trucks and driven to the first check, at wonderful antique shop/brew house for an post pre-lube, pre-lube of a delicious local brew of some sort. We drank and enjoyed the shop before finally heading out on trail to chase hares Cum Again and Patchwork Quilt. The trail was another great one, nearly all shiggy, but nothing too debilitating, that ran us through tangerine orchards (we were running in Tangerine Florida, after all) and many of us picked and ate some delicious tangerines while slugging through the surprisingly scratchy shiggy. The almost exclusively off road trail kept the pack together and laughing as we dodged and ducked through the tree limbs that kept us moving at a reasonable and kind of walking pace. After awhile we found our way back to near the house, and as we circled, Patch and Shell’s neighbor/friend fired up his hot air balloon and gave each hasher a short thrill ride in the balloon, which was held and didn’t escape beyond about eight or ten feet above the ground. The palm tree behind us made for a great background highlighted in fire each team the captain fired his burners, and most everyone enjoyed the very unique thrill of a hot air balloon ride. Then, with the rain threatening, the crew moved the food under cover and we enjoyed a huge feast of first some fried seafood, and then all the delicious bar-b-qued pork and chicken that we could eat. Most of the group then moved to the fire pit and enjoyed an evening around it, but I was already headed to sleep, and hardly noticed the noise. Sunday morning came early (you know the sun is rising early again) but it too was a continued treat. Pikkle Maker had made some homemade sausage, egg and biscuit sandwhiches, of which I was glad partake, and the group, spurred by an old 25th anniversary hash book I had brought, Patch (founder of so many hashes around the world and of the first InterAm) brought out a lot of old Hash paraphernalia which we enjoyed, as well as his explanations for much of it. The history of the Hash is rich with lore, much of which was explained from first hand knowledge by our host while we drank coffee and and laughed and laughed at his stories, before hitting the road (only slightly ahead of the rain) back to SoFL. Then came Monday night’s Wild Card Hash, a naming trail for nfhn ezra with ehlp from K9 Punisher. We gathered behind Flannigan’s and had a good pre-lube while explaining our group to some of the waiter’s and staff as they gathered and smoked (cigarettes) behind the bar. We got off to a great start, and followed a good, if some what straight trail until finally getting confused by a long false and a number of wrong trail options. It took us a while to figure out that trail actually went alongside a fence that some of us had mistakenly already run, albeit on the wrong side of the fence. The hashing was fun, and then we hit the deep shiggy, and it brought the pack to as a slow and walking pace as we negotiated the deep stuff, duck and dodged around the trees and stepped lively over the vines that continually grabbed at our shoes. We slid under (or over if you’d rather) a couple of fences and finally wound our tired and mutilated selves to the beer check, which included asome really tasty orange jello shots. So much for the trail. We left the beer check and almost immediately found a true trail marking, which much of the pack followed before realizing that they had crossed trail and were following the trail (and the false part of it at that) which we had run on the way out. Chaos ensued and the pack went into confused disarray. I went north with Paid to Peep who was convinced that the trail “must” come out as ways up the road, and head east and back from there. No trail was found and by the time we headed back, no pack or even a stray hasher was to be found, so we just headed back on that same trail to where we knew our cars were parked. We were lucky. Frau Buger and Cum Again, disgusted with being so lost, asked local resident Cajun Ass Mustard which way to head back to their cars, and were pointed west, opposite of where their cars were really parked, and apparently went a couple of extra miles before getting some reluctant locals to talk to them long enough to point them back to the east. They were the DFLs for sure and probably did over 7 miles not finding trail. Meanwhile back at the circle, which started with seemingly no regard for us lost hashers (the hares are usually responsible for lost hashers and are encouraged to go find them before starting the circle), Horshack was trying to keep things moving along to the naming part, despite a (wet) dust up with Wimp regarding the timing of placing nfhn ezra on the ice. The circle was going great again but then came the local yokel police, and since I really didn’t want them to notice (and try to help) my flattened tire, I drove quietly (you know a Prius is nearly silent) to the service station next door, filled my tire and went home. I heard the cops were fairly pleasant, and I know that nfhn ezra will now proudly bear the name, Cockwork Orange (having to do with a map of his trail that looked like just that). The circle then broke up and though they were forwarned, Flannigan’s refused service for the Hash that then went to Chili’s for the on after. (The Flannigan’s on Davie had done this to us once in the past, so maybe we should pay attention to that in the future). So, I know a lot of hashers saw this trail differently, and maybe accurately so I’d love to hear about where it really went and anyone’s special comments. My memory is still a bit cloudy and I really need a little more sleep. See you on trail. On On - VD sportstracklive/track/map#Rmiami/Running/North-Miami-Beach/Full-Moon-Hash/1620965/full sportstracklive/track/map#Rmiami/Running/Lake-Mary/Over-the-Hill-Hash/1627316/full sportstracklive/track/map#Rmiami/Running/Pembroke-Pines/nfhn-Ezra-naming/1627317/full
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 20:00:42 +0000
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