Tell the girls to share please Perhaps the most delicate balance a man must learn how to make is in the relationship between his mum and his wife. As I dwell on God’s word that one should cling to his wife, love and honor her (Gen 2:24, Eph 5:25, Mal 3:13-14. 1 Pet 3:7), I also reflect on those that say one needs to love, honor and respect one’s mum (Ex 20:12, Prov 20:20, Prov 30:17, Eph 6:2, Col 3:20). Some of these verses comes with warnings for not honoring either women. I mean my prayers may not be answered because of how I treat my wife (1 Pet 3:7, Mal 3:13-14) and I may die early for not honoring my mother (Ex 20:12, Prov 20:20, Prov 30:17). In my experience and in some of my counseling situations, I find that a man is caught in the middle of an age-long conflict. Mums especially within our African context don’t know when to let go off their sons and let them run their own homes. They who have at one time been victims of abuse by mother-in-laws and often times abusive husbands turn around and dish out in good measure to their own daughter in law. The daughter in laws themselves often come with a preconceived notion that it will be war and so are ready to dig it out from day one. Now the world has changed dramatically. We have very educated women as wives. In many cases they are the real definition of the word Helpmeet (Gen 2:18). Our wives are hard working women. They not also take care of the home but even also provide income and in addition to that, they still meet our emotional needs and silly demands. I mean we have real Proverbs 31 women but then we also won’t be where we are if not for the sacrifices of our mothers. I mean they kept us through our foolish days and provided for us through toil and pain (Funny that was the man’s curse). So why can’t the two most important women in our lives share… isn’t that what we tell our children? Mums want to keep their sons and the wifey wants her husband. Can’t we be husbands and sons without conflict? We wade through these battles in a no win situation. If we side with our wives, we are ingrates, and we will be called names for not loving our mother’s enough. If we side with our mums, hmmm….. We may end up divorced and then we create a new set of victims in our children who never asked to be tossed into our mess. Help us all you girls, we love you mums and we love our wives too. Share share share. We belong to you both just in different ways.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 13:40:07 +0000
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