Thanks Laurie Lewis for introducing me to the magazine Geist, where I read this: Elegy for Photographs Not Taken by Sina Queyras Elegy for Photographs Not Taken Love set you going like a fat gold watch. –Sylvia Plath The way the snowball flies, high, silent, the sound of it hitting a fence post, a stop sign, a car window: one glove, two gloves, hand over hand, padding small umbels of snow, packed, stacked, imperfect missiles hurled across a crepe sky, oblique scents of spring, stratified snowbanks, icicles like the cold reeds of an organ line the white wood, a base note of trout, spruce needles, mud, leaves, the smell of sap warming, or peanut butter pulled out of a crinkled brown bag (number 5) stuffed in a parka lying over a radiator, crayons, well chewed, hang nail of a wrapper, traces of a man in Detroit or Windsor standing at a stamping machine, or train men huddled in a wind tunnel smoking as the freight trains roll, a woman in Winnipeg sort- ing nuts into cellophane bags, the only pink acrylic scarf in a line of white-smocked women, a desire for a cigarette, ticking the minutes, no, no, no, her quick hands, her well-supported breasts, thinking of the prize ham, her winning numbers, a game and a glass of beer later in a low-ceilinged room lined with green tinsel, a sliding-glass trophy case on one wall, jukebox on the other, seven women holding hands under red pennants, black- and-white photographs of men in uniform, poppies pinned on their lapels, long glossy folding wooden tables, yes, the round tin ashtrays, a bingo chip, an empty cigarette package with a sailor in one corner, hair stiff with spray, a heavy silver lighter, crackling speakers, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, a cash-register bell, pickled eggs, a jar of pennies, a scarf on the table, a pair of leather gloves so hard and crusted from use and salt they resemble concrete busts of themselves, a brown vinyl purse filled with butterscotch Life Savers and Juicy Fruit gum, a park riveted by columns of light, a taxi cab waiting, a lost mutt, its angelic tail, its bitten ear, a street light bursting through spruce, the bus on Grant Avenue, the smack of a puck, again, again, poplars parting the wind like a man coming in from deep pools of kelp, columns of elm straight as buildings nattering across the lane, children swimming in puddles of rain along the crevices of old curbs calving after winter’s harsh retreat, laughter like bugs snapping at a bulb, houses like small islands floating in yellowed lawns, men with shovels scooping up the long season’s turds, the first dandelion, robin, the creak of lawn chairs being pulled out of storage, a woman thin as a swizzle stick, circling hot coals in her yellow-check shift, a jam of anger, orange tufts of Labatts, a glass of cherries, of beer and tomato juice over breakfast, eggs on toast, the round television screen and mixed nuts, another cigarette lit, feet on the boot scraper, the clink of milk bottles, a late season sprinkle of snow, the milk man retreating down the walk, silent, babies lined up in cribs, the toilet full of diapers, a phone call, a paper snapped open, a belief in headlines, a cup sinking through soapy water, down, down with a thud to bottom of the ceramic sink, would we be any happier not remembering the ripe tomato- red gift wrap, the pearl-blue plates, the jug of sugar, the brown light fixtures, the Life Saver candy book, the stiffness of clothing, the red plastic radio with its gold dial, the little placards flicking down the minutes, a robin nesting the morning, the expanse of half-empty houses, lined up along lone highways and mines, or in the city with its stacked lights, rooms dark so early in the winter night, how the night lights penetrate, cars everywhere accelerating, braking, dining tables laid with meatloaf and mashed potatoes, sage-green tablecloths, lemon-yellow napkins, the back ends of dogs walking away, the curl of a cat tail, half-empty cups of cherry Kool- Aid, fathers with plaid short-sleeve shirts soft as kittens rubbing their feet like Boy Scouts and sparking small fires, this one having served for a year in the war, this one having flown a fighter jet, this one with his dreams of football glory, this one having done time in Headingley, they lean against the large white block of stove, the sauce is on the boil, babies displayed in small, moulded plastic seats with thin bands of adjustable wire lined up on the coffee table like the special edition Rockwell plates they dream of collecting, the knees of women in the living room on the scratchy bur- gundy couch with thin spindle legs, the oldest boy spins with a tray of cookies on his head, the baby is paraded in her white ribbons, the youngest girl is dreaming of a dress made of abalone and shoes big as the cat, she is thinking of cutting the curtains into shapes, what is that red, like innermost folds of a rose, the red reserved for drunk bumblebees, or lantern-gold walls in tiki lounges, the olive green of the suburbs, three boys, your age, with their palms open, plastic so thick and curved it feels like shale, mushroom lamps like slabs of onyx, young couples with their fondue pots and Eames-inspired chairs, the colonial- themed rancher where you spent Easter mornings riding a sugar high, the blond hair of an aunt in her cashmere sweater as an uncle dishes out chili, the boys are skating still, warm air drifts into the house, a buried doll, a burned snake, the desire to be seen so hard it has become an erratic in a suburban shopping mall parking lot, a young tamarack, a mock orange wonky along the path, an elusive garter snake, slugs, iris and carnations, Kennedy pink, an empty colonial chair, a woman with black hair and French nails, forest like florist foam, green as a woman with soft Rs, sad as a woman with a laugh like a cat’s tongue, a game of bridge, ongoing since 1959, maple vilas table thick as a skating rink, the edible poses, the sweet plaid skirt of summer, Tang by the above-ground pool, raspberry afternoons flat as the tides at White Rock, a saltwater bath, a kiss beneath the pylons, the barnacles, the greasy fish and chips, America across the water: cheap gas and chocolate, para- sailing over the bay, oh, filing off to the portable with our Hilroys, pink and green, pencils in a plaid sleeve, hoisting up to the roof where the soccer balls gather like litter, in the north a rim of snow on the peaks, the sky like crinoline, oh pumpkin how you make children stand upright, high up with the yellow-eyed black kites, the boy with the freckles and puka-shell necklace lacerates home plate, his knees slide like butter into you, random, unadorned diamond, he smells like speckled hens, you are erect as waste grasses, you hack back the forest and lay out the turf, let the geese tamp it down, the gulls tug at the seams, heaven is other children, their patches of sugar, their sweet breath rolling into the future, small units of time, aren’t you there still with your posse of girlfriends, hair black and straight across the bangs, standing on the balcony over the cedars, mountains like razors in the sky, I have loved you more than myself all these years, your coal eyes filled with strange couplings, your hands, how they pawed at the moon that night we were so cold the wind lifted us, twisting so that our eyes peered into the ceiling where Beckett lives, his soft, soft shoes playing the floor like a mandolin. - See more at: geist/fact/poetry/elegy-for-photographs-not-taken/#sthash.RzM4bUPz.dpuf
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 03:07:15 +0000
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