The Court of Final Appeals In the continued saga, the campaigns have exhausted their legal challenges and they are down to the Court of Final Appeals, with Judge Judy! JUDGE JUDY: OK…I have read your complaint Mr. Gore. You are suing Mr. Bush for the Presidency of the United States of America. Is this correct? AL GORE: Yes, your honor. JUDGE JUDY: What do you base your claim on, Mr. Gore? Al GORE: Your honor, we feel that this election was unfair. Many people who wanted to vote for me; never got a chance. JUDGE JUDY: What is your evidence? AL GORE: Well you honor, Mrs. Glenda Goldstein from West Palm Beach (who must pick up cans to pay her cable bill) wanted to vote for me but, she forgot that the election was on a Tuesday and that is her Bingo Day at the senior Center. She went to the voting pole on Wednesday and she was disenfranchised. She was not allowed to vote. Your honor, we believe that Mrs. Goldstein should still be allowed to vote for me. It would be a slap in the face of America’s Greatest Democracy not to count Mrs. Goldstein’s vote (for me). GEORGE BUSH: Ya honor…I don’t believe that ya have the authority to decide this unless ya ’all gonna decide in my favor. JUDGE JUDY: Wipe that smirch off your face Mr. Bush…DID I ASK YOU TO TALK???? Now, Mr. Gore, is Mrs. Goldstein here today? AL GORE: Well…no…your honor…It’s Mrs. Goldstein’s canasta day at her senior center; so she could not be here today, as she is in the finals. Nevertheless, I am fighting for her anyway, to make your vote count (for me)… JUDGE JUDY: Mr. Gore, do you have any further evidence to present to the court? AL GORE: Well your honor, I do. Mr. Abe Burton from Dade County had told everyone in his retirement home that he was going to vote for me. But, tragically; he died two days before the election. Your honor; this does not seem fair! Your honor, this does not seem fair! I owe it to Mr. Burton’s Memory to make sure that his vote counts (for me)… JUDGE JUDY: Mr. Gore, do you expect me to believe this evidence and rule a dead man’s vote to count for you? AL GORE: Well yes your honor..? GEORGE BUSH: See what I’m saying…? Not a full deck...if ya were to ask me…! JUDGE JUDY: Mr. Bush; I did not ask you…will you please shut up while you are winning… Now, Mr. Gore what real evidence do you have that Mr. Burton would have voted for you if he was not already dead? AL GORE: Well…your honor…I have a witness (turning to Mr. Bill Daily) JUDGE JUDY: OK. You have already been sworn…please stand…what evidence do you have? BILL DAILY: Thank you, your honor. We are calling upon the Clinton Justice Department to launch a full investigation into the mysterious timing of Mr., Burton’s death…just a few days before a major election…an election; where Mr. Burton was to play a critical role in voting for my client and the rightful, next President; Mr. Al Gore. Further to the point; we are also demanding a total recount of all the votes from the Shady Tree Cemetery. The Shady Tree Voter Recorders show that Mr. Gore received not a single vote in the initial count. NOT A SINGLE VOTE your honor! We have reason to believe that this district’s voters were disenfranchised by Republican Trickery and that their votes should not cast out on a mere technicality… JUDGE JUDY: Technicality? They are dead are they not…Mr. Daily??? AL GORE: May I interrupt, your honor? We believe that the term “dead” is a very harsh term and very politically incorrect. We prefer to refer to them as “Life Challenged.” Further to the point; I am fighting to have the Shady Tree Cemetery’s entire vote examined and my campaign will support any law suits by residents to have their votes count (for me). I believe that we can find it in our hearts not to discriminate against these poor voters merely because they are life challenged… JUDGE JUDY: I believe that I have heard enough. Now Mr. Bush…Mr. Bush…pay attention…you are counter suing for $678 million for the cost of the campaign, $4.5 Million for pain and suffering, a trip to Disneyland and the state of Tennessee. Is this correct??? GEORGE BUSH: Yes Mam…you honor… JUDGE JUDY: Do you have any receipts for those campaign expenses? GEORGE BUSH: I do your honor… JUDGE JUDY: OK. Please hand them to me, Mr. Bush. I understand the pain and suffering part of your complaint but a trip to Disneyland and the state of TENNESSEE? Can you explain that? GEORGE BUSH: Ya honor; you know when famous people win something and the press asks them what are they going to do next? JUDGE JUDY: YES???? GEORGE BUSH: I feel that (if I lose) that I was cheated out of my free trip to Disneyland… JUDGE JUDY: But, the state of Tennessee? GEORGE BUSH: They don’t like Al there anyway… JUDGE JUDY: I have heard enough…I am ready to rule. First on Mr. Gore’s complaint; Mr. Gore you have supplied me no reason as to why I should allow a dead person’s voted to be counted for you. AL GORE: Well, your honor; that is not fair. Please correct me if I am wrong but are you saying that over 4 million votes should not be counted (for me). Your honor that is NOT fair! JUDGE JUDY: Read my lips…Mr. Gore! They are DEAD and DEAD people do not have a right to vote. AL GORE: Life Challenged…Life Challenged!!!! JUDGE JUDY: So, Mr. Gore. Your complaint is dismissed. Now to Mr. Bush’s countersuit; Mr. Bush you can only sue when you have lost. You have not lost yet… GEORGE BUSH: But your honor…Mam…How about my trip to Disneyland? JUDGE JUDY: DENIED….DENIED!!! DENIED!!! GEORGE BUSH: Well then…how about Tennessee???? JUDGE JUDY: RUSTY…Remove Mr. Bush from this courtroom! Both Cases are DISMISSED!
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 03:09:23 +0000
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