The Demon Dog Rescue of 94 By Darlene Waters When I was homeless in the desert near Tucson, there was this big mean chow, who had this nightmare demon grin from ear to ear, populated with impossibly numerous, ridiculously long and pointy hell daggers, who had already put two people in the hospital for making the mistake of entering his domain. When his person left for work each day, Demon Dog was tied to a chain that was intended for towing cars, and was anchored in hell at the other end. His shelter was a simple plywood dog shanty with a bit of an overhang, so he could be shaded from the sun without having to go inside. On a typical 100-plus degrees Fahrenheit sunny desert day I was walking by on my way to get the bus into town, and I thought Demon Dog had finally lost what was left of his mind, because he was out in the sun, several feet from the shady spot provided by his overhang. I walked up to the fence to get a closer look, thus unleashing hell, and I could see that the car chain was all knotted up into a pile about the size of your average cow pie, so that Demon Dog could just barely stand, and so that he couldnt get to his shade or his water. Well, shit, Demon Dog, I said. Im going to have to try to cancel your trip to hell today, and youre probably going anyway, and taking me with you for my trouble. So I went in there, and Im pretty sure all that racket that was coming out of his throat couldnt have been coming from just one dog. That critter was possessed, and all of those hellhounds wanted a piece of me. I could see that the only position from which I could save him without getting killed was on top of the dog shanty, which was looking kinda rickety, and even though I was at my sparest, due to prolonged roughing it, I wasnt sure it would hold me. Then there was the likely possibility that, in a demon-assisted frenzy, Demon Dog might just unravel that chain and add me to his resume. Well, youve probably guessed that the shanty held up, and the chain remained trapped in its bovine-inspired identity crisis. From the top of the shanty, I could just barely reach Demon Dogs water bucket, and I could feel the breath of hell on my arm as I stretched my fingers to its handle, inches from Demon Dogs nose. Then I poured the bucket of water all over Demon Dog. I still laugh just thinking about his reaction. He hated it with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns, but I had to do it. Hed already been in the sun for hours. Then I had to climb down and give him wide berth, so I could go get some more water. Getting the full bucket to a spot within his reach without losing an arm was a fun game, let me tell you. Then I scrounged around for something to extend the overhang so that the shady spot would reach Demon Dog in his confinement, and I found a suitable piece of plywood. I placed that on top of the shanty as an overhang extension, and then I was on my way. As I was leaving, I think Demon Dog was trying to say, Sorry I made you miss your bus., but Im not sure, because all that carrying on had actually made him lose his voice. I always intended to go back and check on Demon Dog, but the Demon Dog rescue occurred months before I had even conceived my son, and hes 18 now, so I guess Demon Dog and I wont meet again in this world. That is, unless he really is a demon dog.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 20:07:42 +0000
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