The Expendables 3 Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas Directed by: Patrick Hughes 1/5 stars By Timothy M. Stoneman August 16, 2014 “The Expendables 3” is yet another old tired retreat of diminishing returns (also the first in the series to have a PG-13 rating while the other latters were rated R) that never opens up about its true originality. Just why is this franchise about an old geezer team of mercenaries, led by its head leader Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone, quit while you’re at it), such a success at the box office? Just because people want to watch action and humor (not to mention explosions, lots of them) during a summer that’s worn out on its existence for delivering hardly enough care for slight human touch (“Guardians of the Galaxy”, “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”, I salute you), and a possibility to enter yet another Bay sanctuary where purpose isn’t an excuse anymore (hello, Transformers). This newest Expendables, directed by Patrick Hughes (the first one was by Stallone, the second from Simon West), and a script again co-written by Stallone, tries to round up every action hero of the last half of the last century and new era to give us all expectations for what’s lying ahead (Nicolas Cage and Jackie Chan were once attached to star but didn’t make it). Some deliver, while others barely do. But let’s not forget about Stallone’s Barney Ross, Jason Statham’s Lee Christmas, Dolph Lundgren’s Gunner, Randy Couture’s Toll Road, Terry Crews’ Caesar, Jet Li’s Yin Yang and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Trench, because this is the third time they’ve entered in this territory (the series, I mean). You root for them, laugh with them at first, but also getting the scent that they’ve matured last time we’ve seen them. Ah, jeez! Now comes the riot. Mel Gibson is the new villain here as Conrad Stonebanks, a co-founder of the Expendables who went mad crazy by becoming a ruthless arm trader and war criminal. He and Ross (Stallone should really consider having a new career soon) were once brother at arms. But Ross was assigned to kill Stonebanks back in the days due to his betrayal and has now returned from the dead. Now Stonebanks wants to eliminate the Expendables, for good. I wanted too, also. Since the series hasn’t been aiming for a higher concept above all the FX and bad puns (I won’t go there just to enjoy your guilty pleasures), why should anybody even give a hoot? Simple. They will. Wesley Snipes comes in during the film’s opening rescue mission as an old teammate named Doctor Death (seriously?) whose a psycho, expert with knives (something that Statham’s Christmas has competition with) and whose also known for “killing more people than the plague itself”. Harrison Ford replaces Bruce Willis’ CIA operative and gets a little taste of the action in a chopper (a punch line that Ah-nuld himself uses in the finishing cuts) as Max Drummer. Kelsey Grammer of sitcom territory (“Frasier”) also comes in later as a retired mercenary for Ross’ named Bonaparte who helps him form a more younger-blooded team. They’re Kellan Lutz (from Twilight), Glen Powell, Victor Oritz, and mixed martial artist Ronda Rousey. Antonio Banderas gives a round of applause from me under this umbrella as a former Spanish Armed Forces sharpshooter named Galgo, in which he makes his moments on screen count. The rest of this garbage is trended upon cheesy dialogue, digital boredom and for harboring on all the stardom shown in this giant turd that gives Hollywood a bad name for itself. You leave “The Expendables 3” feeling like you’ve seen this action film forever now. A big “yawn” from me. *Rating: PG-13 for violence including sustained gun battles and fight scenes, and for language *Running Time: 126 minutes *Distributed by: Lionsgate *Release Date: August 15, 2014
Posted on: Sat, 16 Aug 2014 18:33:29 +0000
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