The Players KW The Peoples Champion The Canny Manns Handy man (The Mack) Mr OO Fresh from his successful stint peacekeeping in the Ukraine, KW dropped into the Brit Awards last week to pick up a gong. Spotted backstage showing Prince a few guitar licks and advising the diminutive one on the proper weight of Darts for his size and Paisley Pattern Flights (24.5 grm Tungsten) Woodburn picked up the award for being The Best Oldcomer the award won on the back of Woodburns platinum selling summer hit Bluuurrred Daarrrts pheaturing DJ Mack and Dr OO (Dr Who !) During his acceptance speech an incident occured which involved a drunken Stephen Fry charge the stage and attempt to TwerK Woodburn. In the ensuing fight the peoples champion leathered Fry s security men ....it seemed to have no effect whatsoever on the old bore as he excitedly told MarkMcKeown that he was always happy to see his boys being battered around the ring To the match at a packed Morningside ........due to the runaway success of KW in this weekly fixture, Mr OO thought that by changing the board and moving it from the south facing wall to the north, it would change the result....The match started with the usual gusto and Woodburn found himself three up after the first three matches...........but then Outram won a game. No one knows how it happened but his second dart to the bull was true and he registered his first game of the season. After minutes of disbelief ( Mack being helped back to his feet from the recovery position) the match followed the usual routine with Woodburn running out an easy 5 / 2/ 1 winner. Speaking to the press later and despite getting another dooin at the darts a clearly triumphant Outram yelled I am the greatest I shook up the world I am the greatest Reports were circulating late on Friday night at Morningsides Top Nightspot Benetts Bar that Woodburn was involved in a legal Love Triangle with Julia McPartlin Lisa Rae and Emma Fleming however Woodburn dismissed these rumours as nothing more than the girls wild expectations and figments of their imagination..........got a feeling we havent heard the last of this one. Finally Woodburn jetted off to the Oscars for tonights ceremony. His film Treble 12, years a Slave tells the story of how Scottish Missionaries took the first set of Darts to the slave workers in the Southern States of America and by doing so started the American Civil War when the Southern States refused to start a game of 501 on a flying start. The film is nominated for the biggest load of lying distortion of the facts ever, (but that never gets in the way of a good read).........result to follow
Posted on: Sun, 02 Mar 2014 09:56:36 +0000
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