The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future met at the Spooky Spirits Bar to decide what to do about the retirement of Jacob Marley. Another Scrooge descendent treasured wealth over anything, and the ghosts needed someone to make the initial contact. First, they considered the ghost of Charles Dickens, who was forced to walk the earth chained to a giant DVD player showing the movie, “Scrooged.” Then they thought about William Shakespeare, who was chained to the constantly running Leonardo DiCaprio version of “Romeo and Juliet.” These two were dismissed as too tortured to be of any use. “What about Jerry Jones?” Past asked. “He’s walking the earth chained to a losing record.” “No good,” said Present. “He was doing the same thing when he was alive, so he’s used to it. He’s under-tortured for this task.” Future said, “Wait. Jerry Jones isn’t dead.” “Honest mistake,” responded Past. “I mean, he looks like a corpse, so I assumed…” Present jumped in: “Wait. Who said he has to be dead to help us?” And so Jerry Jones was chosen to visit the present-day Scrooge. It was a quick conversion, and the three ghosts weren’t needed that evening. Finding out that he’d be forced to wear a Cowboys jersey and spend eternity hoping for a playoff run that would never come was enough to steer old Scrooge to instant sainthood. And Tiny Tim said…well, he’ll say something when he gets off Facebook.
Posted on: Sun, 15 Sep 2013 23:53:27 +0000
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