The king of Portrane has turned 21, such a young age to be a king, yet he handles that mantle with such admirable casualness, with an infectious demeanour. This, despite having the pressure of the Portrane peoples hopes and dreams resting on his fabulously broad shoulders. Whats even more impressive is that he doesnt just sit on his throne daily giving his troops orders. Hes actually out there on the front line, leading by example, leading his troops into battle, showing them how to steal wheelie bins. Its fantastic, he rules with an iron fist and a 3 inch penis. Hes like the king out of the film 300, old school, so refreshing in this day and age where royalty are nothing but pampered. But not the king of Portrane Emmo Fitz, hes in the gym daily, carving that flawless body into a cheese grater, winking at himself in the mirror as hes pumps the guns, and why not? Its a body only fit for a king. Sure he single handedly dragged Portrane out of recession, giving tourism in the area an extraordinary boost. Tourists are flocking to Portrane to get a glimpse of Fitzsimons palace and the economy in the area has excelled because of it. The brook are broadcasting record sales of tennents, pipers has been promoted to a five star restraunt and Grogans recently announced plans to build a multi story shopping centre. Portrane is booming and its down to one man. And just when you thought the man couldnt do any more, Irish water yesterday announced that they will not be installing water meters in Portrane for fear of a backlash from king Emmo Fitz and his army. King Emmo for Taoiseach, thats all Im saying. Long live the king! Happy birthday brother, birthday session next weekend is it? Im there :)
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 09:41:11 +0000
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