The loneliness is haunting me and the weight of the worlds getting harder to hold up.. It comes in waves, I close my eyes, hold my breath and let it bury me.. Im okay, but Im not ok and all is right, but its not alright.. Who will fix me now? God, its got to be you.. Bring me home again and calm the waves for me, take me back to that one time when the waves were set for me.. This Ocean is getting scary, but who will dive in when I cant swim anymore? Who will save me from myself and drag me out alive, dont let me drown.. Ive gotten through this before, this misery is my home, but what doesnt kill you leaves you broken instead, sometimes makes you wish you were dead.. But death is not an option when you have a daughter who doesnt want to be put up for adoption.. You know I cant do this alone, give her the strength for me, so that I can let go, but what if shes singing the same song on the other side? Mama Bear take control he says.. Papa Bear, please dont let go she responds... I can hear your feelings even though we seem so far away.. God gave us a child and we were both meant to stay.. We are both broken inside, both fighting to swim the tides of our own waves to survive on our own because our daughter deserves a home... Everything is not ok, but everything will be alright once we past these waves this loneliness wont haunt us forever, but we can get through this together... I know we dont talk, but God speaks through us through our troubles and I can still feel you like that one night when our hands were together.. Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday and every new day it is still in my yesterday.. From the knock on my window to the moment I let you in, from the moment between our daughter like when she put my hand on yours I never felt more at home.. You felt it too as you tickled my hand as I began to brush your shoulders, you began to hold my hand.. I never heard such silence say so much.. So if I stay strong you better be.. This song is our survival a deeper form of communication.. Because we both know that we will never communicate to each other the truth on our own..
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 07:01:29 +0000
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