The old PreFire Trisha and her Pollyanna attitude she could have found hope and kept her shiny positive outlook even in the face of this all with her sparkling dreams and blissful naivety she would have known it would all be just fine as she spewed sunshine and butterflies from every happy orafice But this gal, new and not improved PostFire Trisha, well she is an old Eeyore and can only see this distorted view as if she is looking into a funhouse mirror at the circus. Yet there is no mirror before her, the circus tents have gone away, and there is no fun to be found here. All she sees is this sad and the mad that lies within her as it grows into a festering seething monster Consuming Destructive Hungry This hatred and anger it brings with it And I see my soul as Tokyo in flames as it strolls merrily along leaving behind him a trail of death and darkness My personal Godzilla Growling, roaring, screaming, bleak and only subdued by the thought of another city to burn Get over it I tell myself Find that girl again The one who knew just what to tell herself to get through another wretched day on earth I know she exists somewhere deep within me I find myself wondering if perhaps she perished within the flames that day Along with the house, the things, the loved cherished pets Did I also lose the biggest and best part of myself Was she too consumed by fire and turned to a charred ashen corpse Is she too dead and buried too Just a memory beneath the earth I miss her so I miss her kindness and hope I miss her dreams and foolish happy On her tombstone it will read Here lies Pollyanna She was an odd one Mother Animal advocate Eternal Optimist Dreamer of dreams Woman of faith Writer Thespian Insane thinker of things Fierce Friend All around decent and kind girl She believed in fairytales And happy endings I know were she still with me She could pull me out of this And lend me some of that hope she kept in her bag of tricks Oh how I miss that lovely sack she carried Filled with goodness, laughter, and happy thoughts Were she here now I would dive into it Relish its contents with a fervor and passion Like the passion I once contained I would swim within its peaceful contents Like a mermaid in the sea I would frolic there forever May she rest in peace Miss Pollyanna I shall bring her flowers And groom the grass on her grave Keep her in my memories That strange talkative annoying loud Tree hugging bohemian hippie freak She will be greatly missed if only by me She surely was brave She was such a good egg But like Humpty Dumpty Shes had a great fall And she cannot be placed back together At ALL! Not all the kings horses Nor all of his men Can put sweet naive Polly together again So I bid her farewell Say goodbye and good day Put down the flowers And walk away This new girl She is different She takes absolutely no grief She knows who she is Cares not what you think Were all things burning around her Despite the bad things youve said She would still have your back Stay and die bedside you that day No man left behind Not even you Still frightened and floundering Full of panic and pain She continues to hope To feel better someday Forgiveness comes slowly For her failures and flaws They come from within Not from you or your God He forgave me the moment I failed Yet you placed me on a cross My hands firmly nailed Judged and convicted You diagnosed me unfit To be amongst you Or rest where you sit So she dances alone In this new charred landscape On green blades of new grass She hops to her own drummers beat Your welcome to join her She never shuts doors And is tired of being alone on the floor Join me dear friends Do not despair If you dont come to the dance I dont really care For it is your loss Cause this new girl is fine Take the plank from your eye Remove the splinter from mine
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 21:58:48 +0000
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