The post of a stay-at-home mom at the link below made me think and relive my journey four years ago… I think I’d agree with her that some people wouldn’t understand the words ‘Stay-at-home mom’ or ‘work-at-home mom’ unless they are in the same position with those who chose to be SAHM or WAHM. As a WAHM for over 4 years now, I can equate myself to a SAHM. We are moms who stay at home 24 x 7. The only difference is that I have income on my own, for my sanity’s sake. But regardless of whether or not a mom works for a living, it doesn’t demean any mom who prefers to just stay at home. The household chores alone and the growing kids are enough to run one’s day! Try to put yourself in my shoes… I used to justify myself when people asked me before: “Where are you working?” or “Where are you connected?” It was hard to explain to them as to why I chose to be a work-at-home mom at the onset of my WAHM career, back then in 2009. After all, I was a corporate junkie, and someone whos really career-oriented for a decade. I was also at my prime when I decided to ditch the corporate world in 2009, after graduating from my masteral studies with a 1.03/1.00 GWA (UP System) in 2008. It wasn’t in my wildest dream that I’d be staying and working from home after giving birth in 2009. I was thinking, “What would be a newly graduate student then, who delivered the valedictory address on behalf of the graduating class, do at home?” Little did I know that I was off to discovering and embarking on a mission: to be of service to the world wide web for a cause (several causes, actually), and to my precious family, especially my awesome kids. Surely it was a difficult decision when I embarked on this life-challenging decision. I got remarks from some people that I should go back to our home country instead with my newborn and teach in a state university in the province, and for my husband to stay overseas! It took us (husband and wife) to reside overseas together, and to decide in building and growing our family away from our home country. How dare that other people would decide the fate of our lives, in particular the work that I should be doing? For who’s sake and for who’s expense? That time I was already happy with my new career as WAHM. I was already earning more than what I can earn as an overseas employee from the last company that I worked with in 2009. Those people didn’t understand what it was to be a new mother who wanted everything to make it better for her newborn. They didn’t understand what it was to be together as a family overseas. Traditional minds…selfish, actually. Reading the SAHM’s article about being bullied for not working outside the home made me realize that somehow I was bullied, too, by those people who thought nothing good, but, mercilessly judged me. Little did they know that their uncalled for remarks enabled me to be the best at what I am now. By God’s grace, I was able to reap awards and rewards year after year, not only professionally but more so personally. It’s the same judgment that has enabled me to work harder on my kids by diligently tending to them from birth to present as a mom with no nanny overseas. The irony is, they are the same people who judged me for not working outside the home, but are totally wowed by my kids’ amazing developments. Would my kids be like who they are now, if I’d decided to work outside home, or if I’d just relied on a nanny to be there for my kids most of the time? The answer is an astounding NO. Four years and counting as a work-at-home mom, Ive learned to embrace my new career with pride and flying colors, day after day... My kids’ judgment is of utmost importance to me than someones uncalled for remarks. My 1st born has been telling me, “I’m happy, Mommy, that you work at home. Mothers shouldn’t work at the office.” I wonder how and where she got that idea, for I never told her about that. She knows that I work on my laptop and my mobile phones, but I never mentioned to her about not working at the office or outside home. But her statement means something – that kids at their early stages need their mothers to be with them most of the time. I know that this situation is not applicable to all. But for me, this has worked for the better. It took me at least two years to fully understand and calm the doubts in my mind as to whether or not I did make the right decision after realizing that it’s just the world’s man-made standard -- that we should all be working outside the home and for others. I can be judged by the world’s standard but my family’s ‘judgment’ and my own happiness matter the most. In choosing the road less traveled, I have discovered that it’s the road that I really have wanted to traverse in this life’s journey. I wouldn’t trade this lifestyle freedom that I’m enjoying right now with anything in the world. I’ve bloomed where I’ve been planted by God… And when people ask me nowadays, “Where are you working?” when they see me busily tinkering my Apple Mac Book Air in the nearby coffee shop during my ‘me’ time, I smile, and say, “I’m doing the thing that I love the most.”, to which Id hear some people say, Ano yun? Ako din. Baka pwede ako dyan! Need I say more? Oh, yes… Looking back at the article by the SAHM, this, I have to say: At the end of the day, we are all moms who tend to work 24 x 7 regardless of where you stay, where you work – be it at the office, at home, or overseas. As mothers, our kids are with us and with our thoughts no matter what age they may be, no matter how many kids they have on their own, no matter how many oceans and continents we are far away from our family of origin –- for, my mom’s like that, and I’m like that as well to my two little girls who I am almost with 24 x 7. During my ‘me’ time away from home, which happens at least once a week, my thoughts are always with my two daughters: “are they asleep now?” “they should do this and that…” are just samples of messages that I send to my husband. Mothers...no one in this world can ever replace our roles. Kudos to all good mothers! At the end of the day, we are the same moms who are there for our family doing everything to make the home livable and the husband happy, and to raise the lives of our kids while trying to live our lives as our own person in a little spare time that is left for us... At the end of the day, it’s how we look at ourselves that matters, and not the world’s man-made standard. And when the world asks YOU -- (as a mom, working mom or not, or whoever you are, or whatever you do for a living) -- about this question: “Where are you connected?”, it’s best to simply smile and say, “I’m connected with my calling, God’s highest purpose for me. What about you? To your happiness, Des Illion 11092013
Posted on: Sat, 09 Nov 2013 08:48:32 +0000
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