The silly side of breastfeeding, -written Heidi Green at babygooroo 10. You’ll have to wonder: Breastfed baby or drunken sailor? You may have heard that babies look “contented” as they reach the end of a breastfeeding. Many moms can tell you that this is the same floppy, happy look sported by a drunken sailor. (The possible exception to the sailor look: the milky drool in the corner of baby’s mouth.) “Zoe likes to wrinkle up her nose and lunge ferociously at the breast like an enraged beast. We call this ‘mad dogging.’ Sometimes when she’s finished and milk drunk, she does an awesome Robert DeNiro impression complete with raised eyebrows, a stretch, and a sneer.” 9. Is that you, mom? Many a father has had his baby shove a hand down his shirt or finger his bare nipple curiously. It may be a shock to the baby to realize that dad won’t provide the milk she wants, but it’s worth a great laugh for mom! (In some cultures, dads do produce small amounts of milk. Maybe their babies are really insistent!) 8. Breastfed moms get convenient, on-site massages. While their mouths are busy feeding, the hands of many babies are wandering, kneading their mothers like dough. Any soft part—belly, breast, mouth, cheek, arm—that can be reached by a nursing baby will be stroked, coaxed, and prodded by wandering hands. 7. Funny faces made by googly-eyed old ladies. The fact that your baby is at the breast won’t stop many baby-mad ladies of the older generation from stopping to visit with your wee one. You may as well relax and accept the funny faces and silly stories as par for the course; after all, until your little one is done feeding, it’s not likely that you’ll be going anywhere! 6. A breast by any other name is silly. Lovers may have spoken fondly of your breasts before, but it’s doubtful they’ve ever used such amusing endearments as “num-nums,” “nursies,” “ma-mas,” and more? Laugh at the silly words when your child first uses language to indicate what he wants, and enjoy them. (You may appreciate your baby’s “code words” when you’re out in public, since only you will know what your baby is saying he wants!) 5. You’ll have to wonder: Breastfed baby or circus performer in-training? Once your baby begins crawling, it can be a challenge for him to sit still for anything. And when those legs get moving, there’s some locomotion that occurs. Many breastfeeding moms have experienced “acrobat babies” who literally turn themselves upside-down while latched on and nursing the whole time. (Make sure you call your partner in to witness this; it’s the only way you’ll be believed!) 4. A little dinner music, please. Slurping. Cooing. Humming. Yumming. It’s a veritable orchestra of hungry, feeding, pleased, and satisfied noises that will be playing daily at your breast. (No ticket necessary.) “Zoe made sounds similar to a rusty, creaking screen door while nursing. We videotaped her nursing to keep a record of those adorable noises.” 3. Breastfeeding is more self-serve than you think. You may have seen the video of the breastfeeding yoga mother. She is in the midst of doing a yoga headstand when her hungry baby crawls into the room, sees opportunity, and helps himself to the (upside-down) breast. That the mother doesn’t immediately fall over is a testament to—something. But you never know when your baby will decide to help himself! (Don’t think he can’t!) 2. Is that thing loaded? Curious babies like to look around, sometimes even when they’re feeding. If they’ve just latched on and your milk has started to let-down when their attention is drawn elsewhere, look out! Many a mother has squirted her baby… or herself… or her partner as a result of just such circumstances. (Luckily, breast milk is good for the skin.) “I wish I was kidding when I say that occasionally, over-active milk let-down involved me squirting a human or canine family member who happened to walk by just as Zoe let go of the breast to avoid the milk jet. Few escaped getting sprayed at one point or another before I perfected my ‘finger over the leak’ technique.” 1. It’s about time. One of the funniest things about breastfeeding is its effect on mothers, especially those who are finally sitting down to nurse after having waited just a little too long. Remember the “drunken sailor” look on the baby? Getting to breastfeed after a long delay, many moms will have a similar, punch-drunk look of utter relief and contentment.
Posted on: Tue, 08 Apr 2014 19:59:15 +0000
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