The standards on beauty for marriage have changed significantly in the past two centuries. Part of this change is attributed to media, particularly the powerful tools of movies, television, and various other platforms. This causes women to feel pressured to conform to unrealistic standards in order to feel beautiful, or due to a lack of marriage proposals, which consequentially affects their behavior and perspective on beauty. Oftentimes, these standards will cross the boundaries of what is permissible from an Islamic perspective. Further fueling the issue is that men are affected by these false depictions of beauty and will become pickier when it comes to finding a potential spouse. I feel for my sisters who have to struggle in our era with these ridiculous standards, and for my brothers who have become desensitized due to their exposure to women in media with these outrageous standards. The more you see (i.e. videos and pictures), the higher your standards will become. Solution: Brothers: Stop exposing yourself to these false ideas of beauty and stop associating beautiful with perfect. Beautiful people can be ugly on the inside. Furthermore, people who you might not find drop-dead gorgeous can be the most beautiful people in the world once you get to know them. Ask anyone whos been married for a while; beauty isnt on their minds as much as it was before they were married. Its not as important as people make it seem prior to marriage. Sisters: Make duaa to Allah (swt) to grant you a husband whose standards are not screwed up, a husband who will cherish you for your character, religion, and acts of service. Dont give in to false standards on beauty when those standards are not permissible in Islam. Also, remember that if a guy passes you up because hes looking for something more superficial, its a good thing for you because thats not the type of person you want as a husband. Think of it as a filter. May Allah (swt) guide us and give us strength and wisdom.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 19:40:33 +0000
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