Then: One year ago today, things were different. I was a few weeks in to a full blown drug relapse. Methamphetamine had again become my best friend, the one thing in my life that I could count on to be there for me. I didnt know how not to rely on it. I had packed my few belongings and went back to where I felt comfortable. I was helpless, hopeless, and scared. In an attempt to feel normal, I surrounded myself with people who were lost in their own addictions. This only left me feeling more alone than ever. One year ago today, I wanted to be dead. Now: Today I love my life. My situation is far from perfect but I am happier than I have ever been. I am an assistant manager at a homeless shelter where I live and go to treatment. We shelter about 550 people a night and serve over 1400 meals a day. I live and work on the front lines of addiction and mental illness and the lessons I learn daily are priceless. I have seen brutality, tragedy, and sadness on a level so profound that it couldnt help but change me.. I have also seen countless victories and extreme joy and happiness on a scale that defies explanation. I have made the best friends of my life this year. People who truly care about my well being and love me for exactly who I am. I have taken a good look at who I am and why I am. I have purpose and I have meaning. I have faith, which was something I was sure I could not or would not ever have. I dont know what tomorrow will hold and I never will. Im OK with that. When my term as assistant manager is finished, my plan is to move into a sober living house and get a job. I dont doubt that it will all work out just the way it is suppose to. My life is good. What a difference a year makes. Day by day. Eric, drug addict, 343 days clean and sober.
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 22:13:31 +0000
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