Therapy for the Jilted -- A Love Affair Gone Bad About a third of the mail I get is from young people who got emotionally involved with someone and it either never went anywhere or it was going and the other person broke it off. Some consider suicide, a very immature reaction. Almost everybody gets into an emotional relationship that goes bad at some time (or many times) in their life. With most people, myself included, there have been several. Yet we survive and we dont commit suicide or even seriously consider it. Its not only difficult but messy and hurts mother, father and relatives but probably does nothing much of significance to the person who jilted you. Are you trying to make that person sorry? Thats a poor excuse to end your life and throw away all your parents have invested in you. Find another relationship. The one and only true love who just walked out on you is baloney. It takes two to tango, two caring people to make a working relationship, not just one. Would you want to force someone to be with you who didnt want to be there? I sure wouldnt. If two people dont care for each other, forget it and look for someone else. When I do therapy on people who are depressed I always go to the first love affair gone bad. I do that because it is likely to be the most emotional one and sets the foundation for future emotional upsets involving rejection. We learn to hurt from rejection. We do it to ourselves from then on. We probably learn to hurt from our parents. Nevertheless, life goes on and has a lot to offer in the way of happiness. Now, at 6o+, Im probably as happy as Ive ever been except perhaps when we had our first child. I have a stable relationship, Ive had a satisfying career and look forward to more travel during my leisure years. Thats most likely in the future for you, too. But you have to work at it. So what this exercise that follows does is disconnect you emotionally from past love affairs that didnt work out. If its your first and its fresh, its tougher. You MUST get into circulation and make new friends or get companionship from old ones. The worst thing you can do is stay home and mope. Passively listen to the message and let it sink in. Dont carry the torch for an impossible relationship or have unreasonable hope it can be repaired. If you have reason to believe it is not completely over, dont play the message! It likely wouldnt work anyway. It doesnt change your mind, just helps you once youve decided the relationship is finished. You can play it as many times as you wish, with different people in mind. The test is that when you think of the person there is no feeling anymore. Good luck, and hang in there!
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 00:50:32 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015