This epiphany may be meaningless to a lot of you... but I strongly believe I need to share my thoughts tonight. I hope they are meaningful to someone or can at least shed some light on a situation or two. Today, I thought about just how much of my life I have wasted WORRYING. My mentors and specific circumstances constantly remind me of Christs goodness and mercy. Yet, I continue to find myself waking up in the middle of the night simply anxiety ridden over the future. The majority of this summer has presented challenges for me socially, spiritually, musically and academically. All parts of myself are being stretched in ways that are hard to comprehend right now. I am in constant prayer for contentment and most of all, for trust. You see, in my experience, its more than just relationships that require trust. Its life. Its your job. Its YOU. You require self-trust. Yes... trust can be misused. In certain situations, it can even cause damage when its not properly protected and or guarded. I know youre probably already thinking, Blah blah blah, Ive heard this a zillion times, wasnt this covered in last weeks sermon, or Honey, dont even get me started... Ive learned it the hard way... and not just once. Well Im here to tell you something. Trusting starts with me and it starts with you. It starts with your belief in knowing that you are here and you are called for a specific purpose. Life is not just about whether you can trust others, its primarily about willing yourself to be aware of the ways in which you best utilize your gifts, abilities, strengths, weaknesses, mistakes, regrets, and even your failures for the ultimate purpose of building people up. When you believe in trust, everything becomes very small. Strangers suddenly become much more important. Words take on a whole new meaning and power. Music becomes desperate, healing and adventurous. Petty issues become obsolete. Everything and everyone becomes much easier to love.... and hopefully you will realize (like I have) that your heart has a larger capacity for compassion than you ever thought it could. So. All that to say... Next time youre feeling a bit underwhelmed by your self worth and accomplishments, remember that YOU have value. You are worthy of love. Remember Who is the one and only sovereign aspect of life. Remember what lack of power/control you actually have over the outcomes of your decisions. Most of all, remember that the desires of your heart truly matter to God. Dont keep them from Him just because you dont trust Him to remember.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 01:46:43 +0000