This is NOT going to be a forum to discuss the behavior or punishment of NFL players who get in trouble. We all know the NFL has had a rough couple of weeks on the publicity front. Instead, this is about spotting potential trouble makers before they get in trouble. Prevention is much more important than punishment. So I want to look at a player, who, in my opinion is displaying the warning signs of someone who needs some help. JJ Watt. CALM DOWN LADIES. Im only here to help him. We are not doing him any good by ignoring the warning signs. Have you seen the commercial where he is helping his MILF, er. I mean his Mom, in the kitchen? Is it not alarming that he is unnecessarily crushing the cans as he dumps ingredients into the pot? This is not normal. You ever seen Rachel Ray or Bobby Flay do that? Exactly. Can anyone say Anger Management? And I am not pointing fingers here but it is a known fact that steroids cause irrational fits of rage. I am not only concerned for him but also his MILF, er, Mom. Lets get the boy in counseling before the Watt family kitchen turns into a Ray Rice elevator ride. And I fear there may be an even more troubling sign that ol JJ might be a little twisted and in need of some couch time with a shrink. Why would he wear his football uniform to a school dance? Isnt that a little creepy to anyone else? Lets face it, the way football pants fit a guy pretty much only makes them appropriate for playing football. Seriously, if a guy were to walk around a school wearing a pair of paper thin, nearly transparent white pants that fit so tight they showed every pimple and dimple from the waist down, dont you think it would draw the attention of the authorities? And shoulder pads? Those are worn for a pretty specific reason and it doesnt involve anything you would expect to happen at a school dance. Although, in the early eighties, for whatever reason, women starting wearing shirts that had shoulder pads in them. Remember that ladies? I always thought it was funny that yall would spend all that time on hair and makeup to look pretty, then slip on a blouse that made you look like a fullback for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Anyway, back to JJ. My last concern for him is his apparent need for constant attention. Am I the only one that notices how he acts on the sideline when he realizes a camera is on him. He strikes a pose that gives him a profile like George Washington crossing the Delaware. Maybe his MILF, um, Mom, was too busy with other things to give lil JJ the attention he needed. Look, we all want the best players from our favorite teams to be good guys, but even they may need a little mental and emotional tune up before its too late. So, before you go buy that HEB Tackle Crackle ice cream (thats a real thing, by the way), or get the HEB Primo ingredients to make JJa favorite dish, or get a Verizon phone because JJ told you to, ask yourself this. Wouldnt it be better for JJ if you spent that money to get him some counseling? Of course it would. Ill start a Go Fund Me Account account and when it reaches 25,000 or so Ill go get him a couple of sessions. And while hes there maybe his MILF will want to go grab a drink or something. His, Mom, I mean. His Mom. And JJ, if you ever read this, someone stole my phone, wrote and posted this while I was in HEB buying everything you advertise, so no hard feeling, ok?
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 14:05:54 +0000
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