This is by far one of the most important things I’ve seen online because It describes things I was not able to... How to de-code someone with an anxiety disorder: Things we are trying to do all the time: 1. be safe Things we can’t help but do all the time: 1. second-guess ourselves 2. behave impulsively and reactively 3. take everything personally 4. worry 5. worry 6. worry 7. have difficulty accepting compliments 8. have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures 9. have difficulty finding the courage to respond 10. have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions 11. make a huge deal out of the smallest thing Things you should keep in mind: 1. we’re scared of everything 2. pretty much all of the time 3. it’s an actual disorder 4. it manifests as impulsive behavior 5. you can’t fix us with words 6. telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying 7. it’ll only make us feel silly 8. and then we’ll worry even more 9. “oh god, am i worrying too much? what if she calls me silly again?” 10. like that 11. also, we wear a lot of armor 12. cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes 13. we constructed this armor as children 14. we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart 15. but there is a nice person under there, we promise Things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder: 1. stick around 2. ask him/her if they’re comfortable in a place or situation 3. be willing to change the place or situation if not 4. activities that help them take their mind off of things are good! 5. talk to them even when they might not talk back 6. (they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing) 7. try not to take they’re reactions (or lack thereof) personally 8. (the way they expresses themselves are distorted and bent because of their constant fear) 9. (and they knows this) 10. give her time to respond to you 11. they will obsess over how she is being interpreted 12. they will anticipate being judged 13. it took me four hours just to type this much 14. even though i sound casual 15. that’s because i have an anxiety disorder Things you shouldn’t do: 1. tell us not to worry 2. tell us we’ll be fine 3. mistake praise for comfort 4. ask us if we are “getting help” 5. force us to be social 6. force us to do things that trigger us 7. “face your fears” doesn’t always work 8. because—remember—scared of everything 9. in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself Emergency action procedure for panic attacks: 1. be calm 2. be patient 3. don’t be condescending 4. remind us that we’re not crazy 5. sit with us 6. ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one 7. remind us that we are breathing 8. engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe) 9. if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly 10. or breathe through our nose 11. or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath 12. ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe 13. help us change it 14. usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down If you have an anxiety disorder: 1. it’s okay. 2. even if you worry that it’s not okay. 3. it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared. 4. you are not crazy. you are not a freak. 5. i know there’s a person under all that armor. 6. and i know you feel isolated because of it. 7. i won’t make you take it off. 8. but know that you are not alone.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 02:30:53 +0000
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