This is for Saturday...OMG!!! I got up at 8:20am and I just got back to the room and it’s 12:30am. I didn’t have a nap today and I feel GREAT! It started with a wonderful workshop, unlike any I have ever been at. I don’t like making plans with people I know and can see any time when I attend events. I walked into the restaurant myself and asked a lady sitting by herself if I could join her. She was very interesting. After she left, a lady I met on line at the buffet came and sat with me. We had the nicest conversation. Without going into details, I am sure Gd handpicked her for me to meet this weekend. I went to a speaker meeting and heard a strong message. I got more hugs and words of encouragement that I could have ever imagined. I wonder how many people only hugged me because they heard I was sick?? 2 women that haven’t spoken to me in over 10 years engaged with me Well, more gifts I suppose. Get ready because I’m going to jump around. I ran into someone I met, oh my Gd, over 12 years ago. There has been an ebb and flow between us over the years for many reasons. It turns out she is an occupational therapist. I don’t even know what that means, but apparently, she can help me a lot with managing my chemo at home from the standpoint of arranging my home in a way that I use the least amount of energy to do the things I need to get done. She is coming over to help me next Sunday. I am receiving gifts I don’t even know I need. She asked me questions about what arrangements I have for certain things that I didn’t even know I am going to need. Gd once again is showing me he is providing all I need, even when I don’t know what it is. Teresa generously took more pictures of me. I would be fine and then I‘d cry, fine and then I’d cry. It was amazing how many feelings came up as a result of her photography. Ultimately it was a gift, but didn’t feel great all the time. I spent time with a special lady that I feel a bond with. The fact that she wanted to share with me made me feel very special. An old friend told me about someone she wanted me to meet this weekend. It turned out that she sat next to me at the speak meeting and we had way more in common than we initially realized. No coincidences, just anonymous miracles from Gd. One very hurtful thing happened last night that brought me to tears. Instead of focusing on what she did, I will share that two women came to my rescue and took care of me. I still get embarrassed about needing help, but I was very grateful at the time they took over and got me what I needed. There is a very special young man who, over the weekend, came to check on me and see if there was anything I needed. He offered to carry my knitting bag, bring me water, and made me feel so loved. I don’t know why so many chose to be so nice to me this weekend, but I am grateful beyond words. I try to keep reminding myself it won’t be like this forever and that I will get a chance to pay it forward. This is the part that I am finding challenging to be graceful about. It is a matter of changing the tape over and over and getting my ego out of the way. Gd is providing all I need, why am I fighting the fact that I need what I am getting? Saturday was better than Friday from that standpoint and all I can do is keep having the awareness, change my actions and let my mindset change over time. Someone generously gave me a ticket for the banquet and the comedy show. I sat at a great table of people and enjoyed the company. I saw some people I hadn’t seen over the weekend. One lady in particular touched my heart. We’ve known each other peripherally for years. Again, my illness connected us in a special way. I didn’t get to the comedy show even though I wanted to. Some conversations began and I knew I needed to be where I was at that very moment. It would have been nice to see the comedian because we met last year and had a nice conversation. Oh well, time and place with every person always seems to happen exactly when it is supposed to. Once again I was amazed at the number of people that came up to me saying they were reading my journal and didn’t post. They wanted me to know they are following me and have me in their prayers. Their words were priceless. I told one lady I pray she never needs to know how amazing the love I am wrapped around in feels, but that I was beyond grateful it for her contribution. I told several people about the love and support each of you is giving me. What word is beyond thank you…Hugs!!!
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 12:25:42 +0000
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