This is loooong, but will amaze you about human judgement: A church was looking for a Pastor, they got several recommended applicants. This church had a pulpit committee to screen the applicants and here is what they concluded; The first applicant was Noah. Even though he has preached for 420 years, he has no converts. This indicates a credibility gap. Besides a certain account (gen 9) seems to indicate that he has had a drinking problem. The second applicant was Abram Abraham. We find it odd that he has two names. Isn’t he using an alias? And if so, why. Also we have understood that he has stooped to bending the truth when it suits his purposes. Another matter we must question is whether he is the head of his house. His wife laughs when he converses with God and she also likes to take charge of matters before God acts on it. If Abraham and his wife were to agree to take on some personal counseling, and also some marriage counseling, he might work out at some later time. The third applicant was Moses. We were impressed with Moses except for some two severe problems; he has been known to lose his temper once in a while, remember smitting the rock? Furthermore while he seems to have the necessary perseverance required for preaching, wandering through the wilderness, his stammering and stuttering would defy all speech therapy, no on Moses. The fourth applicant was David. As far as David is concerned, he does seem talented in writing music and poetry but we don’t know if he can preach, worse yet, he has had a few moral lapses. We could not have him for pastor. But perhaps at a later date, when our church can afford it, he could be considered for a position as minister of music. Solomon. Like David he spends too much of his time writing. Besides he has such a lavish lifestyle. And with all those kids from his 1000 wives and concubines, our church couldn’t afford to pay him a salary enough. Elijah. No doubt he is a powerful preacher, nevertheless, the sarcasm he sometimes employs isn’t necessary in this day and age. Also we cannot overlook the fact that he has a tendency towards self-pity. Isaiah. Now there’s a person who is well thought of, but there seems to be a serious PR problem. Can you imagine a preacher who upon meeting God instead of addressing Him politely, he says Woe is me? If Isaiah greeted people in church that way, no one would ever feel welcome, no on Isaiah. Jeremiah. We need an upbeat preacher for our church, not this weeping prophet! One who can make people feel happy. We feel unanimously that Jeremiah would be too depressing in any church position. Matthew. He is a tax collector. His background is finance, but he would probably preach like an accountant, and we would get too many sermons on stewardship. Luke. His background is not religion, He is a physician. It seems strange that he would leave a lucrative position like that unless something unsavoury had occurred in his practice. John the Baptist. Certainly a good preacher. He gets results. But he dresses very strangely. And worse than his lack of pulpit decorum, he eats strangely. What if he brought a honey dipped insect casserole to the communion table? Peter. He seems to show leadership but the last thing we need is a preacher who carries a sword around. And is likely to take of and go fishing anytime! Besides, he smells like fish all the time. Maybe he could be a part-time missioner to sailors. Paul. He is reputed to being a very great preacher. He is very moving, as in always on the move, so how could he keep his mind in his ministry here when he is always going somewhere else. No on all of the above. We did meet a man named Judas. He shows talent and smoothness. We accept him as our pastor.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Jun 2013 07:06:34 +0000
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