This is still one of the most hilarious things Ive ever read!! Hope you enjoy them as much as I do!! These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) __________________________________________________ > Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). > > A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ > > Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) > A:Depends how much youve been drinking. __________________________________________________ > > Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) > > A: Sure, its only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ > > Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK) > A:What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ > > Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (USA ) > A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . > Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not > ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ > > Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) > > A:Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and well send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ > > Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) > A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ > > Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys Choir schedule? ( USA ) > A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is > Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ > > Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK) > A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ > > Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany ) > A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. > Milk is illegal. __________________________________________________ > > Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA) > A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. > All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. __________________________________________________ > > Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. Its a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA ) > > A: Its called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. > You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. __________________________________________________ > > Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA) > A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. __________________________________________________ > Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France ) > > A: Only at Christmas. __________________________________________________ > > Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA ) > > A: Yes, but youll have to learn it first
Posted on: Thu, 15 May 2014 17:54:23 +0000
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