This is the collected blackboard wisdom of Bart Simpson: I will not carve gods. I will not spank others. I will not aim for the head. I will not barf unless Im sick. I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I saw nothing unusual in the teachers lounge. I will not conduct my own fire drills. Funny noises are not funny. I will not snap bras. I will not fake seizures. This punishment is not boring and pointless. My name is not Dr. Death. I will not defame New Orleans. I will not prescribe medication. I will not bury the new kid. I will not teach others to fly. I will not bring sheep to class. A burp is not an answer. Teacher is not a leper. Coffee is not for kids. I will not eat things for money. I will not yell Shes Dead at roll call. The principals toupee is not a Frisbee. I will not call the principal spud head. Goldfish dont bounce. I did not see Elvis. I will not burp in class. I will not instigate a revolution. I will not draw naked ladies in class. I will not call my teacher Hot Cakes. Garlic gum is not funny. They are laughing at me, not with me. I will not yell fire in a crowded classroom. I will not pledge allegiance to Bart. I will not sell school property. I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment. I will not bribe Principal Skinner. I will not get very far with this attitude. I will not make flatulent noises in class. I will not belch the National Anthem. I am not a dentist. Spitwads are not free speech. Nobody likes sunburn slappers. High explosives and school dont mix. Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. No one is interested in my underpants. I will not sell miracle cures. I will return the seeing-eye dog. I do not have diplomatic immunity. I will not charge admission to the bathroom. The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy. All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy. I will not say Springfield just to get applause. I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man. I will not go near the kindergarten turtle. I am not deliciously saucy. Organ transplants are best left to professionals. The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan. I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. There are plenty of businesses like show business. Five days is not too long to wait for a gun. I will not waste chalk. I will not skateboard in the halls. Underwear should be worn on the inside. I will never win an emmy. The Christmas Pageant does not stink. I will not torment the emotionally frail. I will not encourage others to fly. I will not fake my way through life. Tar is not a plaything. I will not Xerox my butt. I will not trade my pants with others. I will not do that thing with my tongue. I will not drive the principals car. I will not cut corners. I will not sell land in Florida. I will not grease the monkey bars. I will not do anything bad ever again. I will not show off {The board was written in an Old English font}. I will not sleep through my education. Hamsters cannot fly. I will finish what I sta
Posted on: Mon, 25 Nov 2013 00:47:00 +0000
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