This is the worst case of schizophrenia in my whole medical career.Nobody but you yourself can ..... I nearly laughed when I saw my daughter aping Dr. Sen in front of him , sitting by my side . He ignored her , understanding her medical condition and continued ...You must know what you are going through.Nothing will help you as much as your own will power ... He was repeating all those things that he has been telling us since last 3 years .I was helplessly looking at my innocent daughter who had no idea of what was going on. She is just 10 , too young to understand schizophrenia. Too young to know that all those voices that haunt her dont even exist . I thought and sighed. The smell of hospital was making me feel sick. I looked at my daughter , she was sitting silently and was looking far across the window , looking at the kids who were playing.Seeing other kids of her age playing blissfully sickened me even more. Dr. Sen was in no mood of letting us go any soon. He was going on and on with his speech. Neither me and nor my daughter was interested in this discourse. I must go , She must be starving I stopped Dr. Sen in between . He perhaps didnt like it . I saw the disappointment on his face .I kind of felt embarrassed for my behavior. I also felt bad for him for a moment but I dont know why but I just didnt feel like staying there. I just didnt want even a one more single word from anybody reminding me again about the mental state of my daughter. She took her home . Last three years .. I have been reading a lot about this . Every single article , every latest research . It is not even a disease . It is curable . what if ....No .... She took a deep sigh and tried to conceal her teary eyes in smile that she passed to her daughter . Is something wrong Mummy ? No She hugged her . No love , just something in my eye . Is something wrong with me ? No , why would you say that ?Just a little fever .. I am so sleepy Mummy .. but I am so scared to sleep I am here Sweety ,there is no need to be scared . I will sit by your side and both of us will smile when fairies from heaven will come and sing for you. But fairies never come Mummy , only.... only ... She looked frightened . Only she comes ...She is so scary . My daughter sobbed . Who is she ? Nobody ..just a dream ,when you will open your eyes ,you will find me I comforted her .. I was equally nervous. I sung a lullaby and saw my daughter going gently in arms of deep doze ..not a sound sleep .. Something didnt let me sleep either . It was 3 a.m and my daughter started shaking slightly and uncontrollably . She was cold and was frightened . I saw nothing . I heard nothing. My daughter was covering her ears with her hands, with sheets , with quilt. I hugged her really tight and covered her ears with my hand. She was getting violent and was pushing everything away from herself . I heard some bang at last . I opened my eyes and I was lying on some bed . The smell told me it was Dr. Sens hospital . I saw my parents at a distance. I looked for my daughter .She was not around. I sat ,with much difficulty, on my bed and shouted ,Where is my daughter ? I looked at my mother , she didnt reply but cried more loudly. It made me far more uneasy. I tried to get down from my bed . I walked a few feet and stumbled . A nurse came for my help. I grasped her tightly and begged her to bring back my daughter. She told she would . They put some injection in me and my eyelids went heavier and heavier . I could still hear some voices. Dr. Sen , let her meet her daughter ..She was begging to me ... The nurse said . Sister.. Are you out of your mind ? I heard Dr. Sen speaking in a very cold voice She doesnt have a daughter .She cannot have a daughter . She is just 15. I felt some deep blow ... but then.... I saw my daughter coming from the door . She is too adorable and silent ..Nobody even noticed her. I took a sigh of relief . Dr. Sen must have said something else ...these sedatives are making me hear weir....... My eyelids went heavier .My daughter sat on my bed . She must be tired.......
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 21:14:49 +0000
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