This issue of a terminally Ill 29 year old woman wanting to end her life on her own terms has really hit home. I know some shout she will go to HELL! God this god that Im right shes wrong this this this. Let me share a little story I just put as a comment in a friends update. Mind you its a bit TMI for some. But here goes. This issue affects me cause I think of my mom. Mind you her cancer started in her sinuses. Then moved to brain and then it was months and months of.... Well here we go... I fought by my moms side the entire time with brain(sinus) cancer. If she could have had this choice before it got to the horrific parts of the disease and she had a choice id have held her hand while she peacefully fell asleep. Why? Why would I ever want to take away precious days I had left with my best friend on this earth??? Here is why....Instead the last few months she was in constant agony the morphine no matter how much we gave her didnt help, no medicine did. She turned into a frightened child and cried and was fearful of things that made no sense. Her body contracted her ENTIRE body contracted whenever the tumor decided to shift or medicine reacted or ? and her cancerfelt like torturing her. I would have to give her shots to stop it. . We had a few minutes of clarity the last month maybe 10 min total where she remembered who we were and could say she loved us. It was torture to bathe her as the brain mass caused all of her nerves to be super sensitive even holding her hand was outrageous in the pain chart. Also due to the spinal chemo. Shed shriek and cry uncontrollably when touched. Id get so upset id say Im sorry Im sorry by the end I was belting out Im so sorry I love you in so sorry. She asked me when she wasnt lucid and had no idea who I was...why I kept hurting her so much what did she do to deserve the pain and to get her daughter. Her daughter would make it BETTER. Like we were torturing her. Mind you I was just changing her pants from an accident on this occassion. After going to a toilet portable or not wasnt able to happen. She was too weak and too pain riddled. I watched my mom suffer pain unlike any you or I reading could imagine....and I sat by her night and night again begging pleading for a god ANY god to please come and take her home to the garden to the clouds to anywhere that would not cause her to wail so loudly we had two times the police here with people assuming someone was being murdered. The police and nurses were all great throughout this but minus the last two weeks I was her only caregiver. It was a horrific few months overall. Heartbreaking. And while I loved those last few I love yous. I saw this. Her grandchildren and best friend saw this. She would have NEVER wanted to be in pain/suffering/agony like that. If she had a choice for these reasons I would have gladly held her hand. Gave her her pills and lied down next to her and let her pass peacefully on her own terms. My moms final days were blessed with a coma. She awoke one last time to say I love you and then convulsed and gasped for air like a fish. This scared me the most though nurses said it was normal. Everyone left the room they couldnt take it. I still held her hand and told her to PLEASE let go that I loved her She fought enough she suffered too much. It was and still is a horrible nightmare I relive watching this wretched cancer take her life. I held my mothers hand and watched her die a long horrible and excruciating death. I wish this on no one and the only solace I had in her passing was her pain was finally over. Still wake some nights screaming cause Im in that room holding her hand watching her scream in pain in my dreams and I cant make the pain stop. This is how I think of my mom a lot. I try to think of the happy but these memories are burned into my brain and heart. I think this lady is loving herself and her family enough to die with dignity. But I am humbled by everyones views and respect yours and hers. ❤️️ I wish more people could understand the pain she is about to endure with absolutely no cure or hope but dying to make it stop. It might be different if you had a view of what it is like. In real time. Now close your eyes and think of what I just told you about my mom. Now imagine that was your mom, brother, sister, or self. Hard to imagine. Is your opinion different then? I really miss my mom and I hope no one else ever has to live this horror. With that good night.
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 07:30:21 +0000
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