This was posted by one of our Godly Women, Bruck Adhiambo . It was in reply to one of our posts and I thought it deserved to be highlighted. GREAT REMINDERS and great insight! As Christian single women, it should not be our goal to date aimlessly. Just because a guy offers to buy you dinner does not mean his request should be granted. The purpose of dating is to identify a spouse with whom you can build a Christian marriage. As such, dating should be treated more like an interview process. You both are trying to determine if the other would be a good ministry partner (yes, marriage is a ministry). While dating should not be about a list of rules to follow, there are a few principles that can help you get the most out of this experience. Adhering to these Christian dating principles should help you make wise decisions when selecting a date, as well as guide you appropriately during the dating process. Must be a Christian - The bible clearly states in 2 Corinthians 6:16 that we should not be unequally yoked. However, this is not some arbitrary rule that only applied in biblical days. Yes, it’s true that we are to witness to non-believers but hoping to convert someone is not a good reason to date them. You cannot build a solid foundation for a Christian marriage if you define marriage differently. You must be on the same page as it relates to foundational Christian principles. Being unequally yoked does not only apply to dating non-Christians, but also applies to dating spiritually immature Christians as well. A man is called to be the head and your spiritual leader so he should be spiritually mature in order to properly lead. You want a husband who can fulfill this role and a non-Christian or immature Christian cannot. We must recognize that God’s commands and boundaries are ultimately for our good. Must be Single – This should go without saying, but unfortunately I’ve learned that this has to be stated. Make no mistake about it, the person you’re considering dating must be single; not separated or in a complicated situation, but S-I-N-G-L-E. Don’t sell yourself short by getting emotionally involved with someone who is not available to love you with his whole heart. There are instances when it’s not polite to share and this my friend is one of those times. Also note, it’s not enough to assume he is single so be sure to ask. If he lies to you and you later learn that he is not single, break it off immediately because if he would cheat on someone else with you, he will most likely cheat on you with someone else. Must desire Marriage – Dating can be stressful enough without the added hassle of falling for someone who you later learn has no desire of getting married. This is not to state that he is the one you will ultimately marry, but understand that just because you are looking to marry does not automatically mean the guy you’re dating is looking for the same thing. While it may be uncomfortable to ask or you think doing so will scare him off, you need to know his reason for dating. If he’s only looking to hang out or date casually and you’re not, you are likely headed for emotional heartache ahead. Guard your Heart – Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” It is the heart that determines the course of your life. So many of us are quick to give our heart to someone who has not yet demonstrated they can or should be trusted with something so precious. Many of us are more protective of our purse than our heart, however, we must learn to guard our heart rather than freely give it to anyone with a few nice compliments that make us feel good. Date with your head, marry with your heart. Be True to Yourself – Be careful if you find yourself pretending to be something you’re not or to like something you don’t to impress him. If you start out that way, you will be pretending for the rest of your relationship. I’m not referring to trying to put your best foot forward or simple compromises, but rather fundamental things like you don’t pray over your meal because you’re afraid of how he may respond or you don’t talk about church because you don’t want him to think you’re a Jesus freak. A meaningful relationship will allow you to be yourself. Dress Modestly – Of course you want to dress nice for your date, but overexposure is not an appropriate accessory for a Christian single woman. It is possible to look nice and be appropriately covered as well as comfortable. When you leave nothing to the imagination, you usually attract a guy with no imagination. Review these beauty fashion tips to learn more about both inner and outer beauty tips. Use these Christian dating principles as rules to live by when dating. Of course seek discernment and ask God if you are in His will. Ask Him to reveal characteristics that are pleasing to Him as well as reveal those things that are red flags, then proceed or walk away accordingly.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 03:20:26 +0000
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