Time to Man UP Yes, I said it, and yes, I’m talking to you. It is time to man UP. I know, I know, you’re not supposed to say that, and yes, I’ve seen the article that proclaims “The Three Most Destructive Words Every Man Hears When He Is A Boy” are to “be a man”. Well, I’m here to tell you, that’s crap. Being a man, or even being a boy, has become so stigmatized, you would think it was a psychological disorder. Masculinity, in our society, seemingly falls between Manic Episode and Mathematics Disorder (yes, that’s a real thing) on the list of mental disorders as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It is perfectly ok in this society to make disparaging, stereotypical comments about boys and men, that if directed to any other “group” would earn you a spot on the ACLU’s most wanted list. Boys are told to be still, be quiet, play nice, share, let others win, don’t get angry, don’t hit back, don’t run too fast, don’t climb too high, don’t say that, don’t look that way, and on and on and on. Anything that comes naturally to a boy is not only dissuaded, it is persecuted and stamped out at every turn. Boys are SUPPOSED to play rough, like guns, be a bit crude, laugh at farts, get muddy, build things, destroy things and handle problems, sometimes with the deftness of a sledgehammer. Now, that doesn’t mean that they can’t play with a doll or like flowers or draw hearts…despite what society wants you to believe, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Believe it or not, boys also have right and left hemispheres in their brains, and it is perfectly fine to encourage (and guide) both. Boys also have testosterone, and at certain ages, they have it in spades. Sometimes it will contribute to bad decisions. How one handles the aftermath of these bad decisions is what will determine the type of man one will become. It’s ok (hell, it’s necessary) to let boys jump with no chance of a safe landing, get a bit scraped up and stand up and give it another try (maybe a little later). It’s even ok to cry; it’s not ok to give up. Now, back to your assignment: Man UP. When I talk of manning up, I mean it quite literally: up the level of your “game”, in all aspects of your life. You are not supposed to be pear-shaped. You are not meant to crumble under pressure. You are not fragile. You were built to run, jump and climb. You were made to fight (literally, if needed) for the things and people that matter to you. You should have empathy. You should have humility (but there’s nothing wrong with being confident). You should be dependable. You should be ambitious. You should apologize when you are wrong (but not because society says so). You should train daily, to be stronger, physically and emotionally. You should understand that the more you put yourself out there, the more chances for you to fail. You should embrace this, because in the real world, people win and people lose. The only certificate of participation you are going to get in life, you got at birth. Things you (and I include myself) can begin working on immediately: • get more physically fit • dress in a manner that portrays the person you want others to see • follow through with promises • make the people closest to you your priority, in words and deeds • stand for something, staunchly and unapologetically • empathize with others, even if they are different from you or what you believe • work hard, without complaining about it • ask for help or advice from those that have knowledge that you do not There’s nothing wrong with being a man, just like there’s nothing wrong with being a woman. Neither is better or worse. Neither is right or wrong. I am specifically addressing men, because unlike what is seemingly in vogue, I’m not going to try to tell someone that is of a different race or religion or gender how to do “that” better. However, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging the obvious differences in genders. Embrace and appreciate these differences, because it is the ying and the yang that makes all of this work. As a man, you should do your part to be the best man you can be…you should Man UP.
Posted on: Wed, 28 May 2014 20:00:38 +0000
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