To love another is to assume their pain, and in its place try to instil joy. Pain at times, all the times, is that anchor that keeps us grounded. Pain is reliable, constant. Pain feeds on itself. Pain hurts. Joy on the other hand needs feeding. There must be another, or something, that give us joy. The absence of such leaves us with a deep sense of longing. To take away one’s pain, without replacing it with anything, is the greatest crime lovers commit against each other. For the joy they promise is not sustainable. Cruel is the lover that fails to hurt after taking away the pain and failing to feed the joy. That lover that wants to exit the love affair on amicable terms. Leaving her lover in a state of vertigo. This is where the abandoned lover has to imagine transgressions. To resuscitate some semblance of pain. And these transgressions must be believed by third parties to hold water in the abandoned lover’s imagination. Then the rumours abound: “He didn’t treat her right…she was a cheat…she never really loved her…he was always in love with someone else…he was just using him.” At this the abandoning lover, fearing for her ego, will try to put everything in perspective. He will say some cruel thing like “I still love him,” or “no hard feelings.” All this only manages to plunge the abandoned lover deeper into vertigo. No pain. No joy. A state of nothingness. How cruel we are…*smh*
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 10:46:38 +0000
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