Today, 18 years ago, I was in a delivery room in San Ramon, CA with an unhappy wife who was screaming loud obscenities at me. Things (between contractions) that sounded like YOU DID THIS TO ME!!! and THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! But before the night was over, I was in possession of my very own cone-headed space alien. His first words to me that night were WE COME FROM FRANCE. ;-) Eventually, the conehead rounded out just fine, and then the pooping commenced. Pooping, crying, waking up at very strange hours, tinkering, exploring, eating the cat litter, playing with the electrical socket, pooping some more (this time all over his onesie), breaking glass, coloring on the walls, skipping out the front door for unauthorized trips in the general direction of the park, throwing the dog in the air (not necessarily catching said dog on the return trip to Earth), going to the vet with the dog, temper tantrums, decisions to include approximately 4 items in the known universe into his diet (and that is all), developing a love for pizza with sauce and garlic, developing a hatred for all things containing sauce and garlic, deciding that eating Octopus was a great idea (because it grossed out Mom, along with the eyeball of the trout that popped into his mouth to freak out Noni), stuffing multiple rolls of toilet paper down the toilet (repeatedly), deciding that he would rather play video games than leave the house all week, deciding after hour number 3 of camping that he would rather camp forever rather than return home to said video games, deciding that 8 mile nature hikes were awesome (because dad got pooped out at mile 7, to his great enjoyment), deciding that pizza with no sauce was the heat (and thus complicating every pizza order from that day forth), deciding that having dad around for said walking expeditions in the woods was not cool anymore, finding awesome friends of good character that replaced ALL things parents (do you hear me complaining?), figuring out how to navigate the social perils of school pretty much independently of assistance, discovering the mall assuming some family responsibilities on his own, figuring out that chicks arent as icky as once thought, mentoring friends and developing mature coping mechanisms for dealing with friends that were beyond the scope of mentorship, becoming a pretty awesome big cousin to his little cousins, taking ownership of important things (a bit at a time) and eventually... ...becoming a really awesome young MAN, instead of just my little boy. Yes, my little conehead turns the big ONE-EIGHT today. 21 NOV 1996 seems like just yesterday in so many respects, and yet it also seems like a lifetime ago. The one thing that hasnt changed ONE BIT in all that time, however, is my absolute, 110% unconditional love for my little space alien. He stands almost as tall as I do now, and before I know it, he will be looking me eye to eye. But no matter HOW big he gets, hell never be too big for me to hug. (especially right in front of the chicks, right outside of school, where its MOST embarrassing, of course) Happy Birthday, Alexander Michael Quayle.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 01:29:51 +0000
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