Tomorrow’s going to be hard for many of us. We may not be able to tell you exactly what we need--and what any one of us might need might not be what another needs--but we probably all would appreciate some sort of support that reminds us that we ARE valued and valuable. In some ways this is like being diagnosed with a serious illness: there’s hope and a lot to do, but also a real sense of our (professional) mortality. Just as with a serious illness or a funeral, many people find it difficult to know what to say or do. We’ve gotten good reactions from others, but also some poor ones: awkwardness, avoidance, failures to acknowledge our situation. Don’t ignore or avoid us. Don’t gossip about us. Don’t try to elicit all of our most painful emotional reactions—unless you were our friends beforehand. Don’t blame us. Don’t give us unsolicited hugs. Don’t move the focus back to how difficult it is for you and your department. Don’t force us to defend our departments or the administration’s decisions. Instead, send us a private email or a public post of support. The following things could probably be helpful: “This really, really sucks.” “I’m so sorry.” “Can I do anything for you?” “I don’t even know what to say…” If you have a history of hugging each other, do so, but you might want to ask first. You might post on Facebook, “I’m thinking of all my friends who are going back to teach at Clarion tomorrow, especially those for whom this might be their last Fall semester.” Wear black in solidarity with us. Talk to us about retrenchment, but don’t only talk to us about retrenchment. If you would have talked with us about your summers, classes, children, pets, etc. before, do so now. We are more than our retrenchments and don’t want to feel like the Retrenchment Poster Child. Buy us a coffee. Take us for walks. Laugh with us. Let us be real and full people.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Aug 2013 22:05:29 +0000
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